White Boy Email 34th Edition

White Boy Email 34th Edition
What’s in it for me?

I. Quote of the Week
II. Ebonics Lesson of the Week
III. Catch 22
IV. Mama’s Korner (or family antics)
V. You Speak
VI. Announcements


Quote of the Week:
“one thing I know, the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.”

Ebonics Lesson of the Week:
“I lost my hand”
You would use this statement when referring to a bad dish or you prepared a meal that did not come out right. Sort of like loosing your touch, but it is in regard to cooking.

Catch 22
People are getting so caught up with this myth of the metrosexual. I say, because there is nothing new under the sun, this cool or hip term describes a set of traits that I think have been taken a way from men by the age of hegemonic masculinity. Hegemony or dominance is the best way to describe this extreme form of masculinity that has and continues to limit the ways men are rewarded in society (American) and also rewarded. Men of color for example, can never be a part of the hegemonic or dominant masculine image because they are not white. Now, for that there is more of a range in ways that in the communities the way that they perform manhood is not as narrow. Black men (post slavery ya’ll) have always dressed nice and wanted to match and go over the top. This first trend of the metrosexual, that a man who dresses well borderlines gay poses, that is false and a myth. And if you are buying that, I am sorry. A second myth is the love of the arts and music. What? A real man is not suppose to love art and music? Myth three I think is if you are using lots of body language to talk. If 90 percent of communication is body language, then a brother (okay white boy) better have some or he is not fully expressing himself. I think that this term is damaging to straight men and gay men.

Looking at the word, which actually started around 1994 by Mark Simpson who reported that men with money and power were falling in love with themselves. I think then there are those who are true to his new terminology, but I hope none people that I think of as friends. For example: “The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis — because that's where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference. Particular professions, such as modeling, waiting tables, media, pop music and, nowadays, sport, seem to attract them but, truth be told, like male vanity products and herpes, they're pretty much everywhere.”
—Mark Simpson, "Meet the metrosexual," Salon.com, July 22, 2002

This is highly problematic. I say if you want to talk about taking a health interest in yourself and total being. If you also care about others and want to change the world in your own neighborhood or sphere of influence. Then you must realize that you are a Renaissance man. I think that India.Arie had it correct when she sings about a man that she I ready to love:
A man who like music
A man who loves art
Respects the spirit world
And thinks with his heart….
I don’t want you all to get me wrong. this includes men are sensitive and romantic etc.. these are human qualities not female ones. Don’t be fooled by society. Be a man and be proud. Being a man is a spectrum of qualities and attributes because first you have to respect your humanity. The best qualities of the metrosexual are THE definition of the Renaissance man. Remember to not allow society to define who you are, you define who you are.

Mama’s Korner
My Uncles Denny and Laeffy (Lafayette) both were in the Vietnam war. They were marines and were in the front lines. When they both finally came back, they were messed up and did not talk about it. Laeffy actually reenlisted to serve after he was done with his service. WHAT? When I found this out I was at arms. Then I did some investigating and found that poor Uncle Laeffy was 18 we he enlisted the first time, to follow his big brother who was there not by choice. He became a trained killing machine and was given the nickname monster. This was not just because he was a big man and a boxer, this was for how he killed people and the amount of people he killed. He seemed to do it just like a monster, with no feeling or remorse. Hand to hand combat this 18 year old boy/man would kill more people than most serial killer in American who get incarcerated. ( On one hand we train killers and the other hand we lock them up. I guess it depends on who they are killing.) The Monster was an asset to the marines but when it was time for him to come back and adjust, a child at 18 became a man at 25 who had to reenter society and he could not find peace. He had been living a life that seemed so right, because there were aspects of society (the military) that told him that this was the life he had to live. But there were two different stories here. When it was time for the Monster to be Lafayette Bronston, all he knew was the monster. Now sadly, Uncle Laeffy still has to deal with the monster. Quiet and to himself. He has slowly been able to talk about himself but he still is silent about the war and what it did to him. Many of us are glad that Saddam was caught and so am I. However I pray mercy for him because I have seen how war can scar and change a man. No one deserves to be called or live the life of a monster because that is what your country at one time expected for you to be, and when times have changed expect you to change over night. So now I pray for all the people in the military who were in combat and I pray that they find peace from their monsters.

You Speak
Mike at Night
© 2002 Mike Hendricks <../../contrbtr.htm>
The Renaissance Man
What does it mean to be a man in today's modern, technological society? Throughout the ages, the role of the man has remained pretty much constant and unchanged until the last generation or so. Men worked, men supported their families, men were in charge, men were stoic, men made the decisions, men controlled not only their own lives and destinies but the lives and destinies of their families as well. We've seen significant changes in those roles recently. In fact, men are no longer necessarily in charge of any of the things mentioned above. Has man lost his position? Has man lost his autonomy? Has man been castrated, overtaken, disenfranchised, and devalued to the point that he no longer has substantive value in today's modern world?

Although many would answer yes to at least some of the above questions, I think that change and modification is not necessarily a negative. In fact, in many instances it can, in fact, be a positive and so I think it is with modern man. We've certainly had to adjust from the old stereotypes and, for many, it has been a difficult transition to make. Old ideas always die hard. Men have had to adjust to new roles and new expectations. Today, we'll look at one of them.

Stoicism was perhaps the first male characteristic to fall by the wayside as we progressed into a new millennium and rightfully so. Men have for ages been expected to keep their emotions under wraps, to be in charge, to take control and to never let the other guy see you sweat. This is also the characteristic that many men have the biggest problem dealing with. It has been an integral part of man's definition for so long, it has been hard to shake. But we continue to see increasing signs in today's society of progress in this area. Men ARE learning to show their emotions, their concern for others, their investment in the lives of others, and their frailties and insecurities as well. Somehow, shedding tears came to be accepted as something only women did, that it was a sign of weakness if any man cried and someone else saw them do it. We are replacing that old worn-out stereotype of weakness with a new Renaissance definition of caring and concern. It shows our humanity. It shows we don't always have all the answers to all the questions. It shows that sometimes we are fearful of things we can't control and it shows that we have a heart.

And women, more than ever before, are relating to men who are in touch enough with themselves that they have no insecurities about shedding tears of joy, of pain, of happiness and of sadness. For a long period of time, this myth of weakness was, in fact, perpetuated by women because they wanted to feel safe, secure, and protected by their man and any sign of weakness on his part made them feel vulnerable and insecure as well. Women have now gained sufficient autonomy on their own that they no longer depend on the man to meet all their needs. This, in turn, has made it easier for a man to be a human being, rather than a programmed automaton, attempting to live up to others expectations.

What men have learned in this process is that we don't become less because we've adopted a trait that historically rested prominently within the female species. We can still be decision makers, warriors, and fighters and yet, stay in touch with our humanness as well. To be able to accomplish this makes us more complete, not less. It makes us more desirable, not less. It makes us more human, not less. In broadening our horizons, in learning to feel and learning the ability to express those feelings, we learn to be more than we've ever been before rather than less.
And that's a good thing for everyone.

this is so good, I could not have said it better myself
Patty Jr