White Boy Email 16th Edition

White Boy Email 16th Edition
I. Quote of the Week
II. Ebonics Lesson of the Week
III. Catch 22
IV. Mama’s Korner

The Temp-est

Quote of the week:
“ I am not lazy, I am selectively hard-working.”
Ebun Taiwo, roommate, friend, and got into Harvard law, I don’t know why she IS lazy ;)

Ebonics Lesson:
Jokes about “Ur Mama” reign supreme here. But you can joke about my mama, but you can’t JOKE about my mama, there is a thin line. Like saying “your mama is so stupid she got in an elevator and thought it was a mobile home” that is funny haha, saying something to the tune of “your mama is a crack head” not good to say. She might have been and even if not, that is enough to get ur teeth broken in.

(Catch 22) Lesson Learned: “Temptation got the best of me…”

I think that one of life’s cruelest/best lessons is when we are tested, or tempted to do the things or make the choices that are not in the our best interest. I think the best analogy to this line of thinking are those “choose your own adventure books.” You are purely exercising free will, and you make these choices that either work in your favor, or lead to disaster. I remember when I would make the poor decisions, I could just back track and re-decide. Too bad life is not that simple.

We are all so easily tempted. Media, peer groups, parentals, school systems, books, and music propagate many of the choices that could be the unhealthiest for us. We make un-wise choices that carry with it psyche baggage that we are unaware of most of the time. That baggage can prevent us from picking up the loads that we ought to be carrying. Instead we settle for the bullsh*t because we are the consequence of our own bad decisions and the even the decisions that were and made for us because of a range of circumstances. All these factors develop our identity and shape our destiny. The baggage that we choose to carry, the baggage that others somehow lovingly carry for us, and then what we leave behind.

We all need to take the time to examine the baggage that we have. If we are toting odd lot off brand luggage and that is what we want, fine. If there is some Tumi or Louis Vutton fine. What is most important is the content. Are we satisfied by what we have decided to be our burden? With the power to exercise choice, why consciously make not wise decisions? I suggest that we start “looking before we leap more.” Why not? You will be tempted, plenty, but you need to decide when and why you are giving into temptation, and what were the reasons behind it. Every time we make a poor choice, those choices become easier to repeat and easier to justify. Part of being human is to error, but thankfully there is grace so that we can correct and make better the most of many situations. So even when we “choose the wrong adventure,” we can realize that to choose another ending before we reach the end of our own chapters in life.

Sex Ed 101
The art of being romantic…okay wooing women!!!

I think that being organized is one of the top keys to wooing women. Why you ask?
Moohahahaha. All those dates to remember and special moments. If had your palm or planner on tip, you would have record and then recollection of everything that could be important to the chick. From the seemingly trivial first kiss moment that you sorta vaguely remember…to the time beer shot out of someone’s nose and you wanted to honor that, be my guest.

Organization and originality is the key to being romantic. If you are organized, the thoughtfulness should come. Chicks are dying for men to remember, to say the right words at the right times, and to be original for no reason. Exercising that part of you to be thoughtful may be hard or intense at first. But so is the making of any good habit to have. “Be proactive and begin with the end in mind.” And if you can’t be original, fake it. Websites and books are helpful. For example, www.theromantic.com is an excellent site to navigate for help and generating/crafting ideas that are original or stolen. It’s all good.

Mama’s Corner
Vagina Monologues were this past weekend and again I put my mama out there to be laughed at. Hey, it is so easy. So for your enjoyment an excerpt from the monologue:


And finally the dried out cooter:
Most recently my mother will randomly talk about her non-existent sex life. I don’t know why I seem to be around for all these discussions. I am the baby of the family, and I wish she would bring up these discussions with my older sisters. But it is still funny as hell. One holiday, Mama Pat goes, “how old are you?” And I thought, oh no, where was this going.
I replied, 20 something…some of you thought that I was going to relate my actual age; you must have forgotten that I am a fucking lady, and we never tell our age,
Ok, ok I digress.
Well anyway, ahem, Mama goes, “it has been over 20 years since I have had a piece. It is like I am a virgin.” Okay. I had to let my mama know that after the gaggle of children that she had birthed and all the men that had been in her life years ago, this statement was completely false.
So now her craziness of going thru “the change” has risen to an all time high because now she is delirious.

They should call menopause…a mental pause because the matriarchs in my family take a vacation from reality when it is time for them to go thru “the change.”



I hope that you are all having a great week and until next time, keep your heads up.

Always the DIVA
~Patty Jr

Next week…White males and identity?