White Boy Email 33rd Edition

White Boy Email 33rd Edition
Are you Single??
I. Quote of the Week
II. Ebonics Lesson of the Week
III. Catch 22
IV. Mama’s Korner (or family antics)
V. You Speak
VI. Announcements

Ebonics Lesson of the Week:
When talking about something sexual or relational in conversation and there is a level of discreetness to it, there is a word that is a catch all…pants. For example: She only wants me for my pants. He is only in it for the pants. Pants is all he/she thinks about. I thought that we were friends but then pants got involved. Etc.
Quote of the Week:
"I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals."-via Nessa’s Friend James
Catch 22
For those of us who remember Forest Gump, it is the soundtrack that stays with us (okay and that whole thing with chocolate and shrimpJ). Thanks to Mike D who helped me find the lyrics/Ecclesiastes quote to do this particular piece. Anyway, Pete Seeger of the Byrds helped to make these words not only a worldwide hit, but to remind us to everything there is a season. This includes Singleness. Singleness is a season. Something that is important in life because it is only for a period of time. During this time it is when self-autonomy happens. Self-autonomy cannot occur living with your parents, and in the same vein, it can’t be fully developed when one is constantly associating himself or herself as the partner of someone else (during these developmental years that are crucial). In identity development there are all these aspects of personal cultural identity that need addressed. If professionals (Arthur Chickering) have found that this is not usually until a person is older than 25 that they begin the process of self-autonomy, why not enjoy the time of singleness and allow things to progress when they are ready. There is no need to rush. In fact, in being single boys/men can learn to cook and clean. Girls/Women can get their oil changed and know how to fix the garbage disposal. There is nothing wrong with a division of labor in a household or couple, but it is good for people to learn how to do things for themselves so they are better equipped to serve their new family when it comes to be that time. Being single is not a curse, it is one of life’s best gifts. And remember, it is just for a season.

To everything there is a season, anda time to every purpose under the heavens: A time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluckup that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and atime to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and atime to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time torefrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence,and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;a time of war, and a time of peace
Mama’s Korner
The knives
While I am at home, I have found that there are things that I like to write down so I have become the family scribe. As I was in the ‘nati getting my turkey on, I was up late with my sisters when oldest sister, Kathryn the Nun related this story:
I used to go up to Detroit when I was little to stay with Aunt Mary (who would be 95 if alive today). Several summers our cousin Ruthie, who is older than me, would go too. Well, one summer Ruthie stopped going. Aunt Mary had rules. One of those rules were that we were not to eat at other people’s houses. This was incase that they were not clean or some other crazy Aunt Mary reason. This one time a friend in the neighborhood who knew Mary was having hamburger and French fries. Kathryn and Ruthie felt that they would just eat there and not tell Aunt Mary. Of course somehow Mary found out. She took them to the back of the house, against the garage and proceeded to throw knives at them. Around their heads. Granted my sister was 5 or 6, but she remembers this vividly like it happened last week. Kathryn then tells that she never told Mama Pat (my mama) or the other sister Mama Kate (my other aunt). So, later that thanksgiving weekend I asked Mama Kate about it. She said if she knew about it she would have kicked Aunt Mary’s butt all over Detroit. But that was not the response I wanted. “Mama, how did she learn to throw the knives…?” Mama Kate responded, “I guess from the reservation, that damn Indian…” Note that I did not inherit this ability to throw knives, any one who will allow me to practice on themJ.

You Speak:
By. Oliver Jameson
No matter where you look, from movies to magazine ads, men are always being told that they need to find a woman to be happy. And yes, while the company of a lovely female does have its boons, people are quick to overlook the benefits of flying solo.
The single life is replete with liberties that you could not imagine. Here are the top 10 reasons you should consider taking a hiatus from the relationship arena and remain single.

Number 10
You don't have to tolerate moodiness & nagging
Fellas, how many times have you been in the doghouse because your woman was livid at you for a reason that you still don't understand to this day? Relish not being the target of her inexplicable mood swings, and the calm that comes when there's no nagging. When you wake up on the couch, you'll know it's because you chose to pass out there.

Number 9
You can gain weight without worrying
Just as you can spend more time buffing up at the gym, you can also just chill and let yourself go for a little while. When you're not on the market, you don't have to worry about looking like an Adonis every day. Go ahead and wear that threadbare Metallica T-shirt and those holey boxers. Enjoy the pleasure of occasionally being a slob. Just don't go so far that you can't trim down in time for when you decide to seek out a new romance.

Number 8
You can appreciate your independence
You can use your newfound free time for solitary fun, as well as for a bit of much-needed self-improvement. Being single forces you to do things for yourself, like learn to cook, do the laundry and tidy up your pad. Being skilled at many things makes you a more complete, well-rounded person; which is a great card to hold when you decide to reenter the dating market.

Furthermore, when you become accustomed to spending time alone, you shed the need to constantly be in the company of others. Independence is a great trait, and women will likely notice that you're not the needy, clingy type.

Number 7
You can control your finances
If you've ever been in a serious relationship, you know that, sooner or later, a good chunk of your budget goes into steady lady-maintenance costs. Bachelorhood gives you full financial freedom, and you never have to worry about paying for dinner or buying presents.

However, understand that this does not mean that you will save money -- on the contrary; you might be spending more on going out, partying, buying drinks, dressing well, and so on. But at least you are the master of every single dollar you spend.

Number 6
You have more time for activities
When you're single, you have no reason to sit around doing nothing. Want to harden your body at the gym? Play a new instrument? How about watching the Die Hard trilogy for the 11th time? Who's stopping you?

You can even use the time that you'd spend pleasing a demanding girlfriend with pure, unhindered fun with the boys. After all, isn't neglecting your friends one of the biggest sacrifices of couplehood?

Number 5
You don't have to deal with another's personal habits
You used to cringe when she used your razor to shave her legs, and the scented candles she burned in every room made you sick. Now you have no irritating habits to tolerate. You can sleep peacefully without her snoring and hog all the blankets without a care in the world. You have no one to pick up after but yourself. Give your patience a well-deserved break and live in unflustered peaceful bliss.

Number 4
You can be spontaneous
Being single lets your break out of the numbing cycle of routine. Be daring while you can. Go on a fishing trip with your crew at the drop of a hat. Push it further and head out on a wild Spring Break surrounded by gorgeous college women. Not only will you be doing something out of the ordinary, you can do it without double-checking with someone else first. This is the height of freedom.

Number 3
You can focus on your career
Life is a juggling act in which you have to keep the many elements aloft, paying equal attention to each one. But if you let one drop, you can channel your forces to the remaining parts. In the absence of a relationship, you'll have much more time to devote to your work. You can put in those extra hours on a project to impress your boss, and even take on something else. And you don't have to worry about sacrificing your love life, as you'll be single and vigorous.

Number 2
You can be your own boss
Relationships are synonymous with compromise. You eventually have to sacrifice something you really like -- a football game or extra cheese on your pizza -- for the good of the pair. Use your single time to treat yourself a little more. In small doses, selfishness is good for the soul.

Being your own boss also means answering to no one. You went to a strip club? You got the scent of some woman's perfume all over your clothes? Enjoy not having to explain your actions.

Number 1
You can flirt as you please
Nothing is worse than that nagging voice in your head telling you that you shouldn't be talking to this killer brunette in front of you. Being single gives you the complete freedom to flirt with whomever you want, whenever you want.
It also gives you the chance to sharpen your mojo so that, before you know it, you'll be the master player on your block. Since you're unattached, take this opportunity to master the art of seduction, and who knows what rewards you'll reap.

the bright side of solitude
Everything has a good side; you just have to learn how to spot it. Society places too much importance on finding a mate, something that your hormones are quick to enforce. The next time you get that pesky feeling that you have to be with someone, remember these 10 points, and you will savor the joys of being a free man.


Announcements

Happy Birfday to all the December babies, look for personal shout outs later this month!!!