White Boy Email 32nd Edition

White Boy Email 32nd Edition

Chivalry, not a dying sport…
Contents:
I. Quote of the week
II. Ebonics Lesson of the week
III. Catch 22
IV. Mama’s Korner
V. You speak
VI. Announcements

Quote of the Week:
“Patty, Did you fall down?” Four white boy identical responses to my semi-concussion this week. (No.)

Ebonics lesson of the week:
That’s hot
You can say that about a chair to the latest cd…this is a little newer version of being like “that’s cool” same connotation.


Catch 22
Hospitality. You can earn a degree in hospitality but what does it really mean? Hospitality is about serving others, something that we all can practice. The Greek word philosxenia which literally translates to love of a stranger really conveys the meaning of hospitality. There is an old saying that goes “it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.” My grandmamma personifies that statement.

She is the original diva. She opens her home to anyone. She performs good deeds such as not to be found out. She cooks for people. She explained to me that feeding people from the warmth of one’s house is part of our culture but also a way to express love to people. There are many ways to serve people but my grandmamma still has the most inviting house.

Grandmamma has taught me that you don’t have to be rich or famous to be hospitable. Loving others and ways to express that are things that help us define our humanity.

Mama’s Korner:
MIA. Cherish the minds of your parents now. Soon, if not already they will forget things and names and places. I love how my mom continues to forget my name, though I am named after her. This past week she out did herself with losing her glasses, license, and other random stuff. For me to dash home and come to her aid is the duty of a daughter. Cherish your parents, cause good or bad, they are all you got for the short time that they really are here in our lives.


You Speak
Men’s Voice: What you talking bout…chivalry?

The damsel in distress is trapped in the tower of the evil emperor's castle. Her only hope for survival is the prince, her knight in shining armor who will climb up the tower to rescue his princess and carry her off into the sunset. And drum roll, please… here he comes, gallivanting his way to the castle. He jumps over the moat, climbs the tower, lifts her up over his shoulder, and props her onto the horse. He slays the dragon and the happy couple are whisked away into the glimmering night sky.
Nowhere in this fairytale did the princess say, "I can get onto the horse myself, thank you very much," nor did the knight say "Hey baby, let's go back to my place and have some fun." This fairytale analogy isn't intended to be nostalgic, it's meant to point out the difference between the old-fashioned days of chivalry, and how it has evolved today.
I recently posed the question, "Is chivalry dead?" and received an overwhelming amount of responses on the topic. Everything from "chivalry is alive and kicking" to "it's alive but on life support," was mentioned. Whatever the case, it's evident that the chivalry of today exists in a different form.
Let's take a look at how chivalry has changed, how it affects dating today, and what this means to us. Chivalry used to connote the characteristics of knighthood. It meant being courteous to women and being gallant. But in the days of Destiny's Child crooning about Independent Women, and women believing that they can live without men, it's hard for guys to realize that ladies do want to be treated like princesses.
And I don't blame men for thinking that women want to be treated like strong, independent people, because they are. Men are faced with a double standard where they know women want to be swept off their feet, and want and expect men to make the first move, but at the same time, they preach that they are strong and can be single for the rest of their lives.
What men don't understand is that women want to be treated well, and want to be placed up on a pedestal. This treatment does not lessen their strength or independence, but it's up to women to show that they want this treatment. This brings me to an important point about chivalry. It was mostly men who responded and offered insight on this topic. Many men have stated that although they believe in chivalry, they feel they are making futile attempts at being courteous when their actions go unnoticed and unappreciated by females.
On one hand you have a woman who waits for the man to walk ahead of her and open the door, while on the other you have the gentleman who does open the door for her, only to have his date shout at him that she doesn't need his help.
Do women really want you to be chivalrous or better yet, is she worth it?
While I mentioned that women dream of the days of old-fashioned movies where a kiss was enough to extinguish lust, the man would lift his loved one up the winding staircase and help his lady put on her coat. Women, however, must understand that they can't have their cake and eat it too.
The women depicted in these films were also forced to stay at home and tend to the house and children, proving that the times are just plain different in every respect.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for old-fashioned romance and chivalry; it just goes to show that the concept of chivalry has changed with the times. Chivalry now means being kind and courteous to anyone, regardless of if we are romantically interested in them or not. This means helping the older woman carry her groceries to her car, or even simple things such as saying "Bless you" when someone sneezes.
Unfortunately, kindness to strangers has become a rarity, with people slamming doors in people's faces, and pushing in line at the checkout counter -- and both men and women are guilty of this. Because common courtesy doesn't exist as much anymore, it makes us suspicious when we do receive kind gestures from others, and we assume kindness is part of someone's ulterior motives.
At the risk of sounding like a sociology textbook, let's take a look at why the presence of chivalry may have disintegrated today:
1. TechnologyTechnology seems to be the scapegoat of all our problems, but it helps to explain why we seem to be in our own little bubble on a daily basis. The days of personal letters (scented with your lover's perfume) are long gone, and rather than step foot into our neighbor's cubicle at work, we send an e-mail to ask a simple "How do you do?" The smaller the world becomes and the easier it is to communicate, the less we reach out to others personally and the more we tend to want to stick to ourselves.
2. Self-centered attitudesI don't want to sound jaded and cynical about mankind, but society has become more self-absorbed and self-centered, especially when it comes to strangers.
A common fallacy among men and women is that chivalry is one-sided, which means that a woman can also take the initiative and do something chivalrous for her man, especially since the times have changed. You want to put yourself out for a woman who is worthy of such royal treatment, since this says a lot about her personality.
The problem is that it's hard to tell whether or not the woman you are stressing over deserves your efforts of chivalry. Here's how to tell if your lady can also be a gentlewoman:
- If you open the car door for her and she unlocks your door once she's inside.
- She offers to split the bill at the fancy restaurant you went to for dinner (or even better, she pays for it once in a while -- if she doesn't pay for it, she pays for your movie ticket after dinner).
- She surprises you with that CD you've been talking about or sends you flowers at work.
- She brings you over chicken soup when you're feeling under the weather.
- She shows how appreciative she is of your actions and recognizes how lucky she is.

Chivalry isn't about getting things in return, it's about being recognized to a degree for your actions and knowing that the person you are with will also treat you right. Chivalry is a two-way street, in which you shouldn't be taken for a ride.
So what's the solution to all of this? As chivalry now means being kind to everyone, the best thing to do is just be yourself. Act normal, and don't try to be too chivalrous or the woman you're pining over will see right through your act. The truth is, if she isn't appreciative, then she's probably not someone you'll want to invest your time in. If you like her, then you will automatically put her on a pedestal without realizing it.
And once she's on that pedestal as high as the castle tower -- where you are the only one to rescue her -- she will look out for the knight in shining armor in you.
By: H. Muller (askmen.com)

Announcements
Gobble Gobble


I know that this last article was long but I think that you all would benefit from such a good read. Have a great week and holla at a sista’!!!

Live love and laugh
Patty Jr