gal pal email 27 edition

Gal Pal Email NewsletterEdition 27
Contents:
1. Quips and Quotes
2. Jive Turkey Talk (aka Ebonics Lesson)
3. On the Flip Side
4. Mama's Korner (and other family antics)
5. She Speaks
6. BookStorian By Gal Pal Emily Rapoport
7. Announcements/Shout

OutsQuips and Quotes"I once heard of a tale where a man finds himself in a hole, but it is much to large and deep for him to get back out. A doctor walks by, considers the man's predicament, and throws in a prescription. A priest walks by, sees the man is unable to get out of the hole, and promises to pray on his behalf. While both men were well intentioned, the man is still stuck in the hole until his friend walks by. Though the friend doesn't have any formal education, training or the like, he says, "I know exactly what to do!" and jumps into the hole. Here is where the tale has two possible, but equally likely endings: the friend says either, "I've been stuck in this hole before, and I know how to get out," or "I don't know how to get out, but what kind of friend would I be if I wasn't here to help you?" -via E.R.Jive Turkey Talk(I changed the name of this section so I could include some language that is happening in pop culture and crosses racial boundaries and in honor of my Great Uncle Clarence who used to always call me a Jive Turkey)"

On the Flip Side
I was sitting having some quality time with gal pal Lisa M. and we were watching the 5th Season of Sex in the City. We sat there laughing and trading side stories over pasta and chicken. We were watching the one episode where Carrie is all about the girls hanging out because they had not been recently having quality time for each other. This is because Miranda just had a baby, Samantha broke up with cheating Richard and Charlotte was getting a divorce. Carrie was still trying to get over Aiden and sometimes the way we all try to work through a breakup or disaster is to rely on the combined strength of our friends. Which is a good thing.

Carrie makes this one comment that still sticks to the walls of my heart, "sometimes we all need to invest in an emotional retirement plan." Here she was speaking to investing time with our friends. Anything worth having for more than a fish's capability to remember what they ate three seconds ago, is about investing time and part of ourselves. Just an in relationships with a significant other, worthwhile friendships take the time and effort and the risk of opening our hearts. There is this risk of getting hurt. One Gal Pal recently told me that she had stock in Coach, P and G , and Pepsi. I was very proud of this wise business investment. And at the same time knew that she was the kind of friend who invested the same wisdom in her friends. Just as stocks take time to earn money. And mutual funds even more time. One has to be willing to be even more so careful and thoughtful about ones' friends. I was really convicted by this episode because I know that I fall short some many times in time and deed with emotional retirement plans with many of you. Forgive me for my shortcomings. I hope that by recognizing this now, I will make better investments for the longterm future. "A new friend is new wine; when it grows old you will enjoy drinking it." -Ben Sira

Mama' Korner

This week, I wanted to keep it really simple because of the new design of the gal pal in organization and content. I have to say that I am still living the craziness of the vagina monologues from this year. I was on the campus loop, which for those who don't know, one of the campus bus shuttles that literally loop around to different campus stops. I was chillin' and these two girls were like, "you were in the vagina monologues; wasn't it called 'how mama pat got her groove back'." And I was like, "yes, I was and yes it was, did you ladies think it was funny, that stuff is my best stand up..." then this guy interjects and says, "I went to see my friend Megan, I was there Sunday when your mama was there, and it was definitely the funniest one..." I say, "thanks dude." He interjects, "your mom was so funny when she stood up..." My mom still stole the show.

She Speaks

"Maturity involves the synthesis of all you've learned. It's the time of the soul, the essence of all you are. As adolescence unleashed the mind, childhood heart, and the birth cycle the body, maturity brings out the soul. The keys to maturity are commitment and responsibility. It's time to stop studying, stop preparing, stop searching and to start teaching, doing, manifesting, producing. The rehearsals are over, the show is on."- Gabrielle Roth

BookStorian Spot
Emily Rapoport
This is a new section featuring a gal pal who is a lover of books and also has agreed to write this section that will be recommending books of all sorts to speak to the hearts of women on any kind of issue. Give her some love and be faithful to reading this new section.Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. ~Charles W. Eliot

Too often I find myself caught under the strain of a never ending schedule, and think of a time when I can just sit and lose myself to the words on a page. Now that I have a week to breathe before I begin my final quarter, I am anxious to delve into my stack of books that have accumulated. First on my list is "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" by Rebecca Wells. I bought this book for my mom over winter break, as something to escape to while our family was recovering from my father's serious illness. For the past two months she has raved about this book, and confessed to me that she put limits on how much she read each day because she never wanted it to end. I look forward to reading it and discussing it with my mom, as we have other books like Anita Diamant's "The Red Tent " (highly recommended by myself and the Diva). From fiction to biography, poetry to short story, the books we read have a magical effect on our attitudes, thoughts, and aspirations. Think of a time when you opened a book and found an answer to a question you didn't even know your heart was asking. Remember way back when reading a Judy Blume book was like someone had peered into your own life and reflected it back to you on the page? Do you remember connecting with characters like Elizabeth Bennett or Tom Sawyer? Do you find yourself with quotes from "The Little Prince" all over your bedroom or desk? From "The Great Gatsby" to "The Bluest Eye" books have always supplied a key, a reflection, a place to lose myself for hours in Madrid or on a pirate ship haven't you found the same?It is so validating to hear your thoughts affirmed by a friend or repeated in a book. Have you ever shared a book with a friend, just to reminisce over certain scenes, characters, or a phrase that just spoke to your very core? Just as when we give advice, sharing books and impressions of them provide an additional method of support and encouragement.As gal pals, we realize the constant importance of our friends. When we are happy or sad, in need of a smile or a hug, our female friends provide us the strength and support we need and crave. So it is with books, as I'm sure many of you will agree. With that in mind, I pose a question to you all, for the mutual benefit of us all: What book should every woman have read by the time she is 25? 30? 35? 40?Take some time to think about what book has made you cry, laugh, think, or even stirred your very essence. Or was it a book that was an escape from any of the above? Please respond back to me at rapoport.7@osu.edu in the next week, so that in the following gal pals I can pass on all of your wonderful advice. Until then, happy reading!

Announcements/Shoutouts
·Happy Birfday for me, thanks to all the gal pals who came to the party and/or showed the love is some way!!!
·Happy birfday to Kelly Grindall all they way down in Texas, yeehah girl!!!
·Snaps to Adina for her signing performance, I know its nothing but more blessings there.
·Snaps to Emily for agreeing to being the BookStorian for the gal pals
also happy graduation to Lisa !!! and any other gal pal i forgot

Gal Pal Email Edition 10:

Gal Pal Email Edition 10:
Lil Bitch in all women
Finals Week Edition
Or the "Aluminum Edition"
Quote of the week:
"Love is a gift, not an obligation."

Discussion of the week:"I am tough, ambitious, and I know what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. I can throw a fit, I am a master of it."I tell you guys all the time to "seek your inner diva" and I add to that here is that sometimes you have to be "da bitch." You have to have the attitude to match the inner mode that someone or something provoked. For example, when someone makes you mad, and in your gut; sounds against any ethical code that you adhere to, you might have to play the bitch card. If you get played out at a restaurant, followed in a store, dissed at club, or called out your name, there is a time and place for everything under the sun. Stereotypically women are categorized as pious, meek, and mild. If you are that way, that is fine. But we are so a diverse sex. All the cultural pluralism among us means that we are socialized to react differently in front of similar stimuli. However today, I charge you to bring out the card in a focused way. You have to frame your words in such a crafty way so that when you are playing your card you are not showing your whole hand. For example, my sister, Sachiko the ho, has a history of showing her ass when provoked.
But she surprised Alex and me when she took us for my birfday to J Alexander's for dinner. The service that we had been horrible for the type of restaurant it was. Sachiko was fueled and was like this girl was so not getting a possible 15-dollar tip. My sister called for the manager and told me and Alex to go get the car, she did not want us to have to be there when she did her thing. You might be thinking that Sachiko the ho beat someone up or cussed someone out, but no, she finally played the bitch card correctly. She with total professionalism was like, "Dean (general manager) I have some 'feedback' (corporate world talk for complaining) for you. I brought my sister here to celebrate her birthday and I wanted it to be special. I have been to this restaurant many times before and have had a great time and wonderful service. It has nothing to do with the food. The service that we received today was less than par. I have never been here and had to 'bag' my on food, and then to receive the check before asking if we were ready for it or if we wanted dessert is just poor business. I spent over 70 dollars here tonight and she lost a great tip. I am disappointed in our experience here and moreover because this was to be something special for my sister and her friend." That is how you play the bitch card well. Of course my sister was seething and her delivery revealed the anger. But the words were well chose and on point. She came correct and brought the thunder. And she got a 50-dollar certificate in return. Alas, my sister, she was definitely raised by Mama Pat.

Mama's Korner
"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, underneath the mistletoe last night..." okay so it may not have been mistletoe, but Mama Pat is dating and is definitely kissing!!! My mama and 'Tom Blake' kissing in front of me, the baby daughter, I don't want to see all that. I did not grow up with my mama dating at all. No man except family so this is a whole new arena for me. Many of you may come from a two parent home or at least have seen this whole scene. It is one thing to cheerlead for my mama to date from C-Town. It is a whole other thing to see it. I am still 100% supportive. It is just new and weird. All well. Mama is getting a Papa, and ya'll he is old too, 75 to be exact. I told my mama in a joke. "He has one foot in the grave and one foot out." Hahahahaha okay I know I got jokes. I hope that everyone did not have a hell week.

Next Email which will be later today, look for the Bra Saga!!! Love you all!!!

~Always the DIVA
Patty Jr

Gal Pal Email Edition 11th

Gal Pal Email Edition 11th
Spring Break Edition
a newsletter for women friends
Quote of the Week:
"I know what I have to do, I have to keep breathing cause tomorrow the sun will rise and who knows what the tide will bring in." -Chuck in Castaway
Thoughts for the Week:"What defines us is how well we rise after falling."

I remember when I was in the second grade and being called out of my name. It was my first time remembering that type of moment. It was this guy named Gary and some kid with him. I was "finally" allowed to walk home by myself. I thought I was so cool and grown up. One day Gary and his friend thought it would be cool to follow me home and throw rocks at me while chanting all kinds of insults. I did not run or turn around. I just kept walking with my head high. Even as the blood streamed from the back of my head, I still walked the same pace. I stifled the cries so that they could not get the morbid pleasure of hurting someone. I got home, and ran to Mama Pat. She looked at my bloody hands, head, and book bag and just was in utter disbelief. She could not fathom that her daughter in the 80's had to face the same things she did in the 40's. Gary was a messed up white boy. For some reason, somewhere he learned that in order for him to feel in power, he had to put someone else down. He was at such a young age so impressionable and had got on the wrong path to seeing people. Sadly, there is probably a time in all of our lives when we were the bully or had been bullied. And though it may be in the past, there is always the residual stuff that lingers in our psyches. At the end of the day, it is important to figure out how we come out of the situation. Though at times things may really hurt, or you may feel guilty as you look back on how you treated someone, think of this...it is all part of the growing process. Things happen, but part of that healing process is not just letting go, but to also see how you can grow from the situation and what you can do to help someone else. Turning the lemons into lemonade is a lot sweeter than downing that bitter *ss stuff fo real. This sista' Maya really had is bar down in this poem, I hope that you can draw from it in a special way that speaks just to your heart.
Still I Rise
(By Maya Angelou)
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies.
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like the moons and like the suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,Still I rise.
Did my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping wide,
Welling and swelling I bear the tide.
Leaving behind the nights of terror and fear
I riseInto a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I riseI riseI rise.

Mama's korner:
Sometimes love is being all things to someone. Being humble is one thing, but being humble in love, this truncates all things we know. It is far from human cognition to be that way. However, in this case, during break the DIVA bows down easily to show that kind of love to her mama. This past week I was plumber, accountant, maid service, drill SSgt., podiatrist, mover, carpenter, chauffeur, psychologist, friend, and relationship expert. Not that I am qualified to be any of these things, but love can make you be all things in that situation that you are most needed. If you are just able to move past your own selfish tendencies and pride, love can abound. My mama has the scariest feet in the world. She has the unnaturally high arch, because in the 40's the in soles were sometimes made with wood. She has no bones in her toes except for the big toes because of a surgery she had in the 70's to get rid of the hammer toes; oh and those are still there. (Hammertoes are toes that make like a fist and then cause things like in grown toenails.) And she has in grown toenails. Those are way gross. My mama needed most for me to cut her toenails, which is like chopping wood on a miniature tree. You chop away trying to what you need to accomplish. You need protection. I wear goggles usually and sometimes gloves, cause those toenails are sharp as hell. This is a true story! You can call my mama and ask her about me being the only child who works those feet. It's the grossest job, but I do it because I love her. And this was something that she needed that I could supply. Hey, you do what you gotta do!HA Ha's!!Top Reasons to visit da field:
1. Seeing my mama in a moo-moo
2. Being home for 30 minutes before hearing 3 gun shots go off in the background
3. Going shopping for mama's foot pads in the middle of the night
4. Seeing Old man Mr. Core with his list'nin stick
5. Grandma's chili even when you don't like chili and you take it anyway, and then she gives you a box of crackers (no pun intended here), oranges and ginger ale.
6. Seeing old friends with names like "C-squared" and "cho-ca-like" and "shot"
7. Fried chicken
8. Fried chicken (so nice say it twice)
9. Going to your old high school to hang with Mr. Manoloff (AP Government) who I love!!! (Future emails)
10. Lastly, Springfield has the best water, we have the best groundwater because we are close to yellow springs, so Kathryn the Nun saves empty containers to fill up on H2O when she comes and visits. (Now you know who fills those things.)
~Always the DIVA...have a great week!!!
Live, Love, and Laugh
Patty Jr.

Gal Pal Email 26th Edition

Gal Pal Email 26th Edition
Quote of the Week
Ebonics lesson of the week
On the Flip SideMama's Korner
(which will feature Maya Angelou for the next couple of weeks thanks to a trip to see here speak with Gal Pal Angel)
She SpeaksAnnouncements/Shout outs
Quote of the Week:
"Love goes bankrupt if you do not make deposits in its account."

Ebonics Lesson of the Week:
"Snaps":Something that you can say when someone does something good or well"No Snaps":When someone does something wrong or is messed up, you give them no snaps(Snaps to Salina for using this lingo and reviving it for me)

On the Flip Side
Building Character Part 1

bell hooks rocks my world because she in one of her recent books all about love keeps it real about life and the human condition. Many politicians preach to us about different moral dilemmas but with no real resolution. This is because they are too part of the problem. The issue of the human condition is the fact we have forgotten to tell the truth. "Lies are told about the most insignificant aspects of daily life. When may of us are asked basic questions, like How are you today? A lies is substituted for the truth. Much of the lying that people do in everyday life is done either to avoid conflict or to spare someone's feelings." "Lots of people learn to lie in childhood. Usually they begin to lie to avoid punishment or avoid disappointing or hurting an adult. Basically children learn that lying is a way to avoid being hurt and hurting others. The fear should not be there if one is being honest. Honesty sometimes does mean that are feelings are hurt, but truly how tragic is this?

Eventually children are fascinated with lying because they see that there is power that it can give them over situations and adults. Hooks goes on to say that the art of dissimulation (taking on whatever appearance is needed to manipulated a situation) is learned quickly by many kids and others find it hard to mask their true feelings. They began to arrange a set of values that is around being dishonest. Lying becomes a means of gaining power in a relationship. "It is not accident that the greater cultural acceptance of lying in this society coincided with women gaining greater social equality." This is part and parcel with the power dynamic. Justice can not exist with a culture that values lying over being honest. Sometimes the truth hurts, but that is part of the growing process. There is not progress without struggle. "Since the values and behavior of men are usually standards by which everyone in our culture determines what is acceptable, it is important to understand that condoning lying is an essential component of patriarchal thinking for everyone." Patriarchal femininity and masculinity estranges men from their selfhood.
This denial of self lends itself for women to use lying as a form of manipulation in relationships and because this has become socially acceptable, both men and women suffer the fate of a dishonest society. We all wear a mask because we all participate in lies. Hooks champions the difference between privacy and secrecy. She says that truth telling individuals value privacy, but this should not be confused with secrecy, remembering that keeping secrets involves some level of power. Secrecy usually involves lying and deceitfulness. Moreover, this must be coupled with the reality that some people like to take someone's personal information and use it as a tool of oppression of a forum of gossip. In this case many of us are guilty. Lastly the selling point for me in this piece was that consumer culture encourages lying. That we have "passive acceptance of lies in the public life, via mass media, upholds and perpetuates lying in our private lives." Truth telling could be the way to treat tabloid journalism. If people were honest there would not be a need for such media. Hooks ends this part of her book with this wisdom: "to be loving we willingly hear each other's truth and, most important, we affirm the value of truth telling. Lies may make people feel better, but they do not help them know love." This is true.

Maya's Korner:
"The Lesson" by Maya Angelou
I keep on dying again.
Veins collapse, opening like the Small fists of sleepingChildren.
Memory of old tombs,Rotting flesh and worms do
Not convince me against
The challenge. The years
And cold defeat live deep inLines along my face.They dull my eyes, yetI keep on dying,Because I love to live.

(S)he Speaks:
All I ever needed to know, I learned in Kindergarten
Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand box at nursery school.These are the things I learned. Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday.Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. We are like that.And then remember that book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK! Everything you need to know is there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology, and politics and the sane living.Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.--- Robert Fulghum

Shout Outs:
Birfdays this week:
Jessica Andrews
Liza Toher
Lesley Jenkins
Christina "Teeny" Philips

Snaps to Kathryn French, Salina Cole, Lisa Michna, and Emily Rapoport for being great gal pals
Everyone have a great week and remember to tell a gal pal that you love her...honestly

Gal Pal email 24th edition

Gal Pal email 24th edition
True friends (Best Friends series III)
Contents:
Quips and Quotes
Ebonics Lesson
On the Flip Side
Mama's Korner
Her Voice Speak
Announcements

Quips and Quotes:
"Patty, when a girl is a tease, well then she is called a buzz-kill..."the Persian princesses Ida and Sara during a gal pal powwow
okay the real quote of the week :"I sustain myself with the love of friends" Maya Angelou (via Adina Sterling)
Ebonics Lesson of the Week:
"That's hot" use to be just referred to a person, but now it is in reference to anything that is cool or interesting... look at the sweater...oh that's hot...look at that computer program...oh that's hot (for all my homies who are engineers, mass love )

On the Flip Side
Baby-sitters Club
Synopsis: It is a pivotal moment in the lives of The Baby-sitters Club--seven very special girls growing up in Stoneybrook, Connecticut. With most of the girls turning 13 and the summer upon them, they hope to devise a brilliant plan to make some money, have some fun and keep their remarkable friendships intact, but with new boyfriends showing up, rival girls, and long separated parents, the baby-sitters will test the fabric of their long-standing friendships. Each girl rises to the challenge in her own way and by the summer's end they discover their friendships have not only survived, they have thrived and flourished.Okay, I know what you are thinking...Patty Cunningham Jr. we were cool with the Anne of green gables but you are stretching us with the Baby-Sitters Club (BSC) book stuff.
Well let me tell you, I say that my journey through these books during my childhood were not only gripping but I remember wishing and hoping that one day I would have 5-6 girlfriends at the least who would know me and love me and no matter what happened we would always be friends. This group of seven girls went through adolescence together. To me, to outlast that would mean a great many good things...surviving puberty and its complexity. At the same time friendship in the real world has the same types of cyclical journeys. A person grows from struggle and triumph and so does friendships. Anything worth having takes work. Just as these girls ran a business together, they also worked very hard at maintaining their friendships. The point was that friendships were the most important. Life is journey, and its awesome to have friends to help you along the way.

DEGREES OF FRIENDSHIP
The type of relationship you can have with an individual depends upon the degree of friendship which has been established between you. Bill Gothard, in his Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts, has identified four "Levels of Friendship". They are (1) acquaintance, (2) casual friend, (3) close friend, and (4) intimate friend. Each level has its distinguishing characteristics. I think that it is important to know where people fit into your life, not to box them in, but to see where they are and where you are. IF I were to write about getting rid of unhealthy people in your life, "categorizing" friends is a way to see if the friends that you have are the ones you should have or even need. I think that we all walk this life wanting to be liked by the people who are in our lives but at the same time we need to recognize that we can not be all things to all people and the importance of having a circle of friends is so valuable such that you know that sometimes those friends can be closer than family. That iron can sharpen iron. Having a kindred spirit or a circle of women will not only make you feel the love that you need, but it will also give you a circle of people who will love you despite of your flaws and encourage you to go on in life and remember friendship can be forever. Look at these and see if the people who are around you are worth the long haul.

Mama's Korner:
I know that I have spoken about Uncle Fonny on multiple occasions but this past weekend my sister, Sachiko the ho, reminded me that our uncle would come from Reynoldsburg to da field many Sunday afternoons to visit. He wasn't there for laughs or to talk about old times, he was there to eat my mama's fried chicken. He would bring my mother chicken to replace the chicken he would consume. And this was no small feet. Uncle Fonny was serious about eatin his chicken. My mom would get a phone call to "warn" her he was coming. He would call to make sure my mom had chicken on hand. He would come with in the hour and proceed to easily eat a whole chicken by himself. There was no part of the bird when fried that went neglected. From the leg and thigh to the breasts and wings, man, even the neck and backs to the chicken were not overlooked. He then would go to the local bakery, Schulers and buy donuts for the whole house before taking several boxes of them back to Columbus. Gal Pal Angel was there and has witnessed the still very agile Uncle Fonny. This Man who is pushing 70 I am sure can still hop fences as demonstrated at graduation party from undergrad. SO ladies eat the fried chicken cause I am sure that it will help you jump fences at 70.

Her Voice Speak
IMAGINE A WOMAN
by Patricia Lynn Reilly, M. Div
Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.
Imagine a woman who believes she is good.
A woman who trusts and respects herself.
Who listens to her needs and desires, and meets them with tenderness and grace.
Imagine a woman who has acknowledged the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her past.
Who has healed into the present.
Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and to her wisest voice.
Imagine a woman who names her own gods.
A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness.
Who designs her own spirituality and allows it to inform her daily life.
Imagine a woman in love with her own body.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates her body and its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.
Imagine a woman who honors the face of the Goddess in her changing face.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use precious energy disguising the changes in her body and life.
Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.
Imagine yourself as this woman.

Announcements
Birfdays!!!!Erin Brozovich Happy 23rd
Rachel Rickards is well 25 !!!!

Gal Pal Email 13th Edition

Gal Pal Email 13th Edition
Quote of the Week:
True friends are the ones who walk in when the whole world walks out."

Ebonics Lesson of the week (more than just vernacular):
What is Jim Crow?(a crash course for those of you who did not know)The term Jim Crow originated in a song performed by Daddy Rice, a white minstrel show entertainer in the 1830s. Rice covered his face with charcoal paste or burnt cork to resemble a black man, and then sang and danced a routine in caricature of a silly black person. By the 1850s, this Jim Crow character, one of several stereotypical images of black inferiority in the nation's popular culture, was a standard act in the minstrel shows of the day. How it became a term synonymous with the brutal segregation and disfranchisement of African Americans in the late nineteenth-century is unclear. What is clear, however, is that by 1900, the term was generally identified with those racist laws and actions that deprived African Americans of their civil rights by defining blacks as inferior to whites, as members of a caste of subordinate people.

Discussion of the Week:
The Beauty Myth
American Culture has sold us all a raw deal. It has polluted our minds and distorted our ideas of what is beautiful. Like I always say, don't give in to the hype, because I am appealing to your psyche let's look at an article this guy wrote:Why waif is wrong and other beauty myths"I'm sorry but I am not a maiden fair. I am not a pretty girl, I don't really want to be a pretty girl. I want to be more than a pretty girl." - Ani Difranco I never met a woman who was happy with her weight, of course I never met one who was happy, but that's another column.
I also never met a girl who was haute couture, heroin chic or prêt à porter. (Of course I don't speak French, which may have something to do with this.) Cut me some slack, I'm not a women's studies major either, but I've got some problems with the popular media's tired portrayal of the ideal woman. Public enemy number one is the "glamour" magazine. I'm sick of the mythic nymphette who slinks her doe eyed angst across the cover of any glossy mag. If the popular idea of a woman is oil can slathered mascara and a figure that would make Skeletor jealous, count me out.
Take a look at any fashion spread and all you got is soft porn, drug abuse and gun- toting Lolitas. John Keats says truth is beauty, and the truth is these women really don't exist. A friend of mine who interned at a modeling agency informed me that the majority of their clients who front the covers of Elle and Vogue are 13-16 year olds. These girls would make Humbert Humbert think twice. This shouldn't come as a surprise, but any woman over 20 is gonna have a hard time matching the supposed elegance of a pre-pubescent teen. The girls in these mags have bony angles that you can only measure with a protractor and a ruler. They're about a decade from developing any type of curve.
There's a reason you don't see Claudia Schiffer or Rachel Hunter anymore, they actually became women, and who wants that? These magazines do have articles on healthy body image and the dangers of eating disorders, but right next to some girl who doesn't eat. (Do not worry - she's hooked up to a Glucose IV drip between shoots). The Cosmo Website actually has an advertisement for Jenny Craig, which asks "Are you overweight?" This is about as ridiculous as wallpapering an Alcoholic's Anonymous meeting hall with Absolut ads. You expect the worse from glamour mags, but not media like the New Yorker or Rolling Stone. It's amazing what passes as a serious profile of a female musician today.
A typical piece on Jewel usually includes the phrase, "despite her crooked teeth, Jewel is very well endowed; oh, and she has a new album out too." Male writers especially seem to focus on Alanis Morrisette's nude video, rather than asking why the hell is she thanking India? Television is even worse. If the booty shaking ghetto queens in Foxy Brown videos don't reinforce my point, then just watch commercials. The men in corporate boardrooms have caught on to the trend of selling product by making women insecure. As a case study, let's look at the Bioré Pore Strip. For the past 200 years, what did we do about those nasty blackheads?
I'm sure primordial woman just hit herself with a rock until they fell out, but all she has to do now is put a Band-Aid on her nose, and yank hard until she removes 20 layers of epidermis. There is a bright side - the pore strip can also reduce snoring and helps you breathe better if you play in the NFL. Beyond the pore strip, I'm sure the ridiculous Summers Eve commercial doesn't need further explanation. Marketing has convinced men that our women must match up or be relegated to the post party hook up. After all, you cannot really have a real relationship with a woman if she's not in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. Women, don't pay attention to this. Men are stupid sometimes and while we fall prey to popular media too, we also have serious hormone issues. (Apparently so do women, see Sarah Lockyer's Tuesday column.) We will salivate at anything in a bikini, and I guarantee if you put Drew Carey in a Victoria Secret Angel Bra, we'd think twice.
Finally, lets just lay off Calista Flockhart and Kate Moss. While they exhibit the body types of which I am speaking, they are body types. It is possible that they have really good metabolisms. The climax of an Ally McBeal episode should not be, "is she gonna eat that sandwich?" It doesn't help much to keep harping on those people who may be different than us. All we do is generate a stereotype of what's normal by our standards, and this is the basis of all great discrimination like racism and sexism. Mike Nagrant mjnagran@umich.edu. 02-18-99

I know that that article was really long, but what is important is for you all to be confidant, and not allow yourselves to be swept up in that hype. If you do not love yourself, how can expect others to love us in the way that we deserve or need it? Never forget how beautiful you are!!Mama's Korner gets handed to my sister Kathryn this week:KB still has playa!I called my sister last weekend after I finished leading a retreat and she told me that she was playing in a basketball game. I was like what? My sister played ball in high school and she was fierce, but this is before my time. So bout 22 years ago she hit the courts for the last time. I proceeded to give her a pep talk. Telling her to smack balls in the women's faces and put her hands and arms in front of them. Talking to her later that day, my sister said she dominated the game, scoring 7 baskets in the first 12-minute game!! I was so proud. My sister went to town. The sister who is nice and not competitive finally grew a pair to handle hers. So the lesson in that ladies is that sometimes u are given the opportunity to shine...take it!! Sometimes there is nothing wrong with flexing some of your powers!!!

Go Women!!!have a great week and until later
~always the DIVA
patty jr

Gal Pal Email 14th Edition

Gal Pal Email 14th Edition
Beware of Bitter Women
Quote of the Week:
"Character can give dignity and value to a person, or character can degrade a person as well. Character is the inner life a person that forms actions and shapes life. Character is a fountain-the head and stream of conduct. A person's character sometimes is in opposition to his reputation. Character is part of the composition that is you. Reputation is merely what others think we are. The real and the "what we think" are many times mutually exclusive."

Ebonics lesson of the Week:
Not just about getting a "grip"Some of you may perceive that when tells you to get a "grip" it means getting a hold on reality, a reality check. However, there is another reason as well. If you tell someone that "I have not seen you in a grip," that means that you have not seen them in a certain time period. So whether it is a week or whatever, if I have not seen one of ya'll in a grip, you better holla

Thanks to Ness-Dawg for the awesome insert to this week's email "Honestly, no wonder you girls haven't got boyfriends if you're going out pretending to be superdooper whiz kids who don't need anybody unless he's James Bond, then sitting at home gibbering that you're no good with men. They (men) might pretend they want one of these bimbos but they don't really. They want a nice friend. Wandering around with all these theories. That's what's so silly about feminism. Anyone with an ounce of sense know's we're the superior race. The only problem is when they (men) think they can sit around when they retire and not do any housework. You seem to have some silly idea bout getting Indiana Jones in the house loading the dishwasher. You have to train them. You just stick to what you think's right...the Velveteen Rabbit book... about how little kids get the one toy they love more than all others, and even when it is missing, the little child still think's it the most beautiful toy in the world, and can't bear to be parted from it. That's how it works. When people really love each other. But, the thing is, it doesn't happen to ones who have sharp edges, or break if they get dropped, or ones made of silly synthetic stuff that doesn't last. You have to be brave and let the other person know who you are and what you feel. They (men) are not the unattainable strategic adversary aliens after all, but just like us."

Mama's Korner:
Mama's got a brand new bag...and his name is tomOkay so I am happy for my mom, I am happy for my mom, that is what I keep on saying over and over again. However, that is hard when you meet the guy and he is around all the time. It angers me to no end and I don't know why. I in the beginning was such the little cheerleader. Now I realize that I am wrong or am I. When I was home last. Mr. Tom was over all the time. He needs to get a hobby with his 77-year-old self. Okay, I guess I must be jealous of him spending all of this quality time with my moms.

Gal Pal Email 15th Edition

Women of Character
Quote of the Week:
"Life is an onion, you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep."-Anonymous

Ebonics (African American Vernacular) Lesson of the Week:
"Down like 4 flat tires" - Used to attempt to convince you that you and this individual are very close. Homies for real.

Lesson of the Week:
Women of Character
Character can give dignity and value to a person, or character can degrade a person as well. Character is the inner life a person that forms actions and shapes life. Character is a fountain-the head and stream of conduct. A person's character sometimes is in opposition to her reputation. Character is part of the composition that is you. Reputation is merely what others think we are. The real and the "what we think" are many times mutually exclusive. A bad reputation can be coupled with good character and on the other hand, a good reputation and be coupled with bad character. I would say that there are six pillars to a solid Character.
1. Trustworthiness
2. Respect3. Responsibility4. Fairness5. Caring6. Citizenship

Having Good Character is an integral part of being human, but most importantly your walk as a woman. One man said upon his return from Vietnam;"One develops "character" by overcoming obstacles and temptations. The temptations can be as mundane as choosing laziness over diligence. The obstacles can be profound something I know quite a bit about myself. After I was wounded in Vietnam and lost three of my limbs, recovery proved a difficult time for me. How could I face coming back home after what had happened to me? In time, I would see the wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson, who said, "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."What he says is very true, it is when no one is looking when it is important to still be of good character, because in the darkest hours, that is when it will be the hardest, but also where it counts the most.
Yes we are fallible and human, but many times we fall short because of the lack of accountability and our own vision, not because of mere humanity. If we are going to reap certain things, it's the obvious reflection of what we have sown.Mama's Korner:Watching your mother get older is fun sometimes. There are the symptoms I refer to as the "senior moment." When you parents may forget something, call you by another siblings name or family pet, and even a relative who could have passed away! Parents tend to have these memory issues, as they age, not that they forget, but they misplace information in their brains like a computer may do. So don't take it to hard, just say to them...are you having a senior moment.

My Dysfunctional Life:
Wisdom shared by gal pal
Vanessa Gilliam via a forward:
Top 20 reasons when a woman should know that the party is over:
1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my bootay while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too.
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry),pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.
8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.
15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONGWAY but..."
16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling takedownmoves.
18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.Send this along to all the girls you know who like to have fun. Make them laugh at themselves like you do.

Shout Outs:
Good Luck to all the Graduating Seniors who need some blessings to get through their finals!!!Have a blessed week ya'll and know that there is a homie thinking of you!!!

~Always the DIVA
Patty Jr

Gal Pal Email sweet 16

Gal Pal Email sweet 16 Edition
80's Flashback

Quote of the Week:
This is what you shall do: love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning god, have patience and indulgence toward the people. Take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem....-Walt Whitman

Ebonics Lesson of the Week:
(Flashback, meaning only old black folk uses this jive) Cleaner than the board of health- means u are stylishly dressed...you never know, this phrase may make a comeback...Discussion of the week:Some of us have grown up on films that have nurtured and challenged us. There are several classics; I probably have seen them all multiple times. If you have not seen a film starring Molly Ringwald, you have not truly experienced the 80's. Here is a summary:John Hughes' Sixteen Candles is probably the best teen film ever made. To some people, this may not sound like much of an accomplishment, since most of the films in the teen genre do not attempt to cater to the most intellectual crowd around. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that teens aren't smart, but most of the films made for them are anything but smart, and they don't really offer anything to their audience except for some mindless entertainment. There are some films, however, targeted primarily at teens that are both funny and clever. Films like Heathers, The Breakfast Club, and Clueless have become classic films, able to be entertaining to more than just a teen audience. Hughes' Sixteen Candles is in the same class as these movies, only even worthier of praise. Part of what makes Sixteen Candles work is the fact that the film's protagonist is a very believable character. Samantha Baker is an awkward, moody teenager, who has a love/hate relationship with her family and is in love with a boy who seems completely unattainable. This realistic portrayal of adolescence sets the film apart from many others in its genre because Samantha is nothing like the one-dimensional teen characters found in many films. The way Hughes portrays adolescence makes it easy for the audience to relate to Samantha's plight. Just about all of us have been embarrassed by our parents at one time or another, after all. And who out there, no matter how old you are, hasn't had a helpless crush on the "perfect" boy or girl? I write to you all about this because there are lessons that we learn as a teenager that I think as we enter college and post collegic experiences we forget those things. The innocence that was once there is gone, but let us not forget the lessons. I have a host of interns that flock to my office. They are all in high school. Their biggest worries the past couple of weeks were prom, gas for their parents' car, and the issues we are still contend with, being accepted and finding love. Many of us have found love. Some of us have found and lost love. Some of us have had love come and it left. I feel that for some of us, and perhaps our friends, have lost the ability to bounce back after the rumble or encounter with love. Life is not just seamless; there are rips and tears that need to be repaired often. Sixteen Candles is a reminder that as we hold onto the memories of our youth, let us also remember the lessons.

Mama's Korner:
This week just a saying:"Patty Jr., you cannot help other people with their sh*t if your sh*t ain't together."This is true. My mom is wise. My dysfunctional (yet funny sometimes) life:(A new section where gal pals voice their answers to random questions.)

Ali Brown feature:"I Blame Daddy" by Ali Brown
People think I'm neurotic, but those people haven't met my dad. I come up with really absurd explanations for things, but it's not me, I'm normal. I grew up with the king of conspiracy theories -- the man who designed a way for bush to plant weapons of mass destruction in Iraq as an excuse for us to go to war. And one day I got caught drawing house plans in my economics of law class, but I grew up with the man who draws houses on napkins at restaurants when he gets ideas so it seemed normal enough to me. My dad can "see" the fancy gardens and forest behind our house, which does not exist, because he wants it there. It's my mom who remembered that we didn't have a back porch and we'd need one before my high school graduation party.The real kicker though is that my dad is the only father in the country who wants his daughter to have sex. I still haven't solved this mystery (or had sex), but it's been fun talking to my dad about it. It disturbs men though. Here is a young attractive girl with a million physical boundaries (other then big giant hugs) who can talk openly about sexuality and male preferences in bed. Applying philosophy here, because ok maybe I am neurotic, it's all about qualia -- a test to see if you can know everything about something you've never done. Normally it's done with "seeing red" but I'm on a mission to see if i can find out everything about sex before I have it and learn something from the experience (obviously i don't really know what it's like, but am I imagining it right). Admittedly a bit strange...but I am the daughter of an engineer who goes overboard analyzing other problems. I'm just solving the mystery of what men really want (my conspiracy theory here: two things, lesbians and blow jobs). Someday when I'm a world-renowned sexual philosopher and a spy (because I correctly predict conspiracies) you can say you knew me when ;)

Shout outs:
Ebun for getting an award at the Denman Research Forum
Irini on her financial boot camp...programming is hard work
Ali B. for always looking out for baby Pete, and that is very hard
Everyone have a blessed week!!

Live Love and LaughPatty Jr

Gal Pal Email 17th Edition

Gal Pal Email 17th Edition

Quote of the Week:"Just because you chose what is RIGHT to do, does not mean that you will be treated as a hero."-Spiderman

Ebonics Lesson:
"I see u"My students say this to me like every day now... I see u miss patty...I am just letting u all know it is like saying hello or some other form of greeting.

Lesson Learned:
Saying you are sorry versus repentance (and you don't have to be religious to practice this.) Sometimes you may wonder why you say you are sorry for something yet the situation may not have changed at all. A fine example is my roommate situation. You say you are sorry for not taking out the trash, yet the trash still heaps up in the house or outside the door until someone else finds themselves doing your job. And then that person takes an "L" and falls backwards down the stairs. If u are simply sorry, u apologize, but someone who is repentant will up the anty and start doing what they are suppose to do and simply take out the trash. Sometimes doing the right thing is hard, but who wants something that is easy. Easy does not build character or stamina so when the real woes of life come to u, u are not the one falling flat on your face. And then there is no one but yourself to get u up, but u lack the skills to do that. So say your sorry and mean it, with a determination to change a little each time for the better.

Mama's Corner:
Remembering that your parents can be fragile too is heartbreaking. When I found out this week that my mother had to have major surgery, it reminded me when I was four. When I was four, my sister snuck me in under a trench coat to the room in the hospital that kept my mother. I remember all the tubes and monitors hooked up to her body. She could not even look at me. She was heavily medicated and sedated. My sister told me that all those things would make her feel better and soon she would be home to take care of me. Part of me wanted to believe her; the other part was filled with the absolute fear that she would leave me too soon. I was too afraid to touch her, almost that I had even lost her already. My sister made me touch my mother's hand and I cried.
At that time I cried for me, because I was afraid that my mother was leaving me. Not over the loss of life. I remember going home to my house. My Uncle Fonny stayed with us and he bought me one of my first teddy bears to hopefully make me stop crying. It read, "I love u" on its belly. I was not loudly crying, just somewhere there was a reservoir of tears coming from some place. So back to the present. I went to visit my mom the day I found out that this was going to happen. I went into our house, it was completely dark, and I thought was my mom in bed? I went up to her room calling her name. I got to her room and there in the darkness I saw her body limp with sleep and I felt like that little four year old girl afraid she was going to lose her mother. I shook my head and yelled at her to wake up. She was like who is it?! And I am proud to say that she got up and hobbled down the stairs to entertain me, Alex and Nessa with stories of how to dance on bars in a bar and offered us some donuts. My mother, the hostess. I say this so that all of you will take the time to love your mother, and show her that, even when it's not Mother's day...because good or bad parenting...she deserves it all the time.
New York Times Best Seller: "I know just what you mean; the power of friendship in women's lives"
This is one of the better books I have picked up on friendship so for the next couple of Gal Pals, so you wont have to pick up another book to read for the summer or fall, I got all of you by helping you all sorta read a book with me, without you all having to read it all like me.
The Story begins, well at the beginning. The best and simple thing about life long friends is that there is this seamlessness that begins to happen over time. These two women commence their story about how they met and such, but I thank the benefit to us is to take the time to reminisce and value the girlfriends we have and why we value them, and then to tell them. College years and then what we decide to do there after are the tell- tell times of friendships. The ones that insist past the few years past college will be forever. And as an "elder" of this email, I can attest the ladies that I met when I was a freshman year can last forever.
Thanks to ladies like Adina, Melodie, Rachel, Diane and Traice, these girls will be a part of my life forever. When we get together, it is like no time has really past. And though sometimes we forget the details, we always remember the headliners. And with age, the bonds are even tighter. You see ladies no one like your gal pals will understand your mood swings, your passions, or secrets like the company of such companions. And it is because of the love of this first circle of women, that I can be the kind of friend that I am now to many of you. They are and continue to be my biggest cheerleaders and inspirations.
Have a great week and let me know if you ever need an ear to listen.

My love always,Patty Jr
The Diva

Next time look for Nessa as guest writer... :)

Gal Pal Email Edition 18

Gal Pal Email Edition 18th

Contents:
Quips and Quotes
Ebonics Lesson
On the Flip Side (discussion topic)
Mama's Korner
Guest Writer
Shout Out

Quote and Ebonics lesson of the week:Mama after surgery: "I am so embarrassed, I peed on myself on the operating table."Kathryn the Nun: "well all those times growing up when we would pee the bed you called us 'pissy wissy'...look who is pissy wissy now..."Eruption of laughter, what goes around comes around.

On the Flip side (group discussion):
Forgiving ourselves and forgiving others...time to let go
One of the hardest things that I have even had to do was learn forgiveness. Forgiveness comes as a pair. You have to forgive yourself and you have to also learn to forgive others. We often times think of the word "Forgiveness" as forgiving someone else for something that they have done to us. We don't place the word with Forgiving Ourselves for things we have done in the past, to Ourselves or Someone Else, that are keeping us from striving and excelling and moving ahead, being all that we can be in our lives. And on the other hand if we do not learn to forgive it can tax us. "Anger and bitterness hurts you more than the person who hurt you; it poisons your attitude and imprisons your spirit."There is another reason why you should not dwell on an incident. Each person has a limited amount of energy to deal with things they encounter during the day. Bitterness and anger consumes a great deal of energy. If you continually dwell on an incident and stir up those emotions, you won't have no energy left to deal with the wounds themselves. Take time to heal from being hurt, but part of that getting over it is also that process of forgiving.In a nutshell this is what one professional says:To forgive another person does not mean you will forget what happened or that the person is not responsible for what he did or that you need to bring him back into your life. To forgive another doesn't even need to mean the other person knows you've forgiven him or her. To forgive another simply means you no longer allow another person's actions or words to cause you resentment, anger and pain. To forgive means you acknowledge that while you would have preferred the other person act or speak differently, you accept that person just as he is. To not forgive another means you continue to hold onto your resentment, anger and pain over another's actions by essentially demanding the other person be someone other than who that person knew (or knows) how to be. (Harder) The more we practice forgiveness, the better we will become at it and the healthier we will be wholistically.

Mama's Korner:
When your mother is going to have surgery the next day, there are things that you should avoid. Some of those things are eating at Taco Bell (ok, taco hell). If your stomach has been in fits all week, your stressed and all the fast food open to you and your choice is taco bell ©? That is the worst choice!!! Believe me, me and my sister paid for it later. So, later that next day when the surgeon came to talk to us after the procedure, I thought of words I'd never thought I would think. "God, I will be angry with you if something is more wrong with my mama..." and I am sure that this was the edited version. I took them back as quickly as I said them in my head. When you get that feeling of helplessness, your humanity and brokenness really shows. When you have no control over a situation that does not directly affect you, you are over come with emotion and it overrides logic and other things that you really thought you believed until tragedy strikes. Life is like this, there are many twists and turns and things that happen that are so unfair, but one has to persevere and move on. You can't blame people or God. You forgive and ask for forgiveness and press on. Otherwise the whoa's of life will overtake you and you will never achieve the better person that you are suppose to become. (Yes, my mama made a full recovery. She has to take an easy but she is so much better and is in less pain. Thanks for all who asked and prayed.)

Thoughts from others...

Usually this is reserved for pieces written by gals for the gals, but this was very timely...from one of my boyz.

Brothers, Family & Friends,Where were you when the world stopped turning? I was in bed, preparing to cook food all day for my last meal with my family before I left for college. I won't be overdramatic about my initial reactions (I was still half asleep) but I will admit to the following: That was one of the 6 times in the past 4 years or so that I "needed to put on my sunglasses."I was prompted to write this today when I was driving south on I-71 and I saw a man on an overpass waving an American flag with two little children at his side. When I saw this, I put on my sunglasses. My sunglasses aren't always used for blocking sun. Any of you who've seen the third Godfather movie know that Michael puts on his sunglasses twice when he begins to cry in reflection of his murdered wife and brother. I've also used my sunglasses for the same reason. I didn't cry when I saw the buildings burning or the people running. However, when I went outside to go to Non & Pop's house (My grandparent's house 3 houses down the street), I stopped and listened to the outside world. This was about 10:45am. Not a bird was chirping, not a car on the streets and certainly no one was outside- except me. I was amazed by the eerie silence of Cleveland. As I unrolled our American flag that had been sitting in the garage for that week after Labor Day, I put on my sunglasses.The next day, my best friend and I went to do what any passionate American would do and we drove to Case Western Reserve to give blood. Kevin Grady and I left so early that we were the first people in the door at the Red Cross location and helped set it up. What I remember most, however, was what I saw hanging on the RTA tracks over Mayfield Road at the bottom of Little Italy. It was a giant, white bed-sheet with black spray paint on it stating: "GOD BLESS AMERICA." There again, I put on my sunglasses.A die-hard browns fan like me was slightly upset to the postponing of the Sunday game, but I understood and we all showed up on September 23 as the Browns played the Lions in Cleveland. The heightened security, the men painted red, white and blue, the "U-S-A!" chants from the Dawg Pound were obvious signs that times had just changed. We won that game and I think our defense had 7 interceptions on Ty Detmer. I forget the score, but I remember a few things. I remember our starting defensive backs running out of the tunnel in unison each holding a corner of an American flag as they ran a lap around the field. I'll NEVER forget what happened at the end of the first quarter... 80,000 people stood up and sang along (without being prompted at all) when the song "Proud to be an American" came on. For the last time, I put on my sunglasses.I shouldn't make this email out to be too sad, however. Today is really a happy day for me in the long run. My grandfather celebrates his birthday today, and my little princess Gabriele turns one year old today. (Note: Gabriele is my cousin who appears in roughly 20 pictures around my room).My reason for writing this is because I want us all to remember. Notice that I don't reflect on the terror, death, and destruction, but I reflect on the American pride that resulted from this tragedy. I know this is cliché, but I'll say it anyway: You can't change the past. We can learn from it, however. We are Americans! May we never take for granted our privileges and our lifestyles that are supported by this great country. Support your troops, and remember that they chose to enlist in the armed forces because they felt a great pride for all that the United States of America stands for!
(by Scott Phillips )

Shout outs
Shout out to my girl Tina Phillips for taking me out to the best park experience I have ever had
Thanks girl!!!

Gal Pal Email 19th Edition

Some people know u better than you know yourself...

Contents:
Quips and Quotes
Ebonics Lesson
On the Flip Side
Mama's Korner
Her Voice Speak
Shout Out
Quips and Quotes:
"Sometimes it takes two to row, row, row a boat."Rowlf (American musician and canine)

Ebonics Lesson of the week:
(This is from a conversation with newest white boy Randy who posed this question.)
Patty, why do some black people close every thing of what they say with "you know what I mean?"Well, its simple, it is a way to ensure that the person who is speaking knows that you are paying attention. With this tag line it's a way to get the nonverbal reaction that the verbal one desired but could not see evidence. You know what I mean?

On the Flip Side
Mr. Manoloff was the best teacher that I had in high school. He is a white male, got a degree from OSU, and was in the military. He recently became remarried and I am so happy for him. He was my AP government teacher. And the whole time I had him as a teacher I thought that he hated me. I was sooo different. I did not want to read the assigned tom Clancy books, so I argued to read about black power politics. I only liked four out of the twenty or so kids in the class and probably only that four liked me anyways. And to put the worst of it together, my arch nemesis was in the class including her clone of a twin sister. And one time she and almost went to battle. It was that day I was going to break her, literally. Well, that day as usual Mr. M was on tip. And he called me out of the room so I could go settle down. Here I thought at the time he was dissing me and showing favoritism. But he knew what he was doing. I WOULD have broken her. She was anorexic (and I mean the cross country runner only eating carrot sticks at lunch with a bottle of water kind of girl). And he knew that I was the physical superior. I had to calm down. It took a couple of years for me to realize though I did not agree with what he did at the time, though I did not like the choice he gave me, and though I really really really wanted to break her...that was the most unwise and ridiculous thing to do. Because he was wiser and was the teacher, the guide and facilitator of that part of my life. For weeks, months, and even into college I wrestled with ideas of did Mr. M like me? Did he favor me nemesis over me? Did he/I do the right thing? As I gained wisdom I realize that Mr. M did really like me. He cared so much about me that he did not want to see me mess my whole high school career up and possibly my future because of a poor choice that I wanted to make. He did what he could do to get me out of that situation. So even though I was mad at him, even though I thought that he had it out for me and did not like me, and that he like my nemesis over me, I have found that my own problem was that I did not know what was best for me at the time and he did. Mr. M knew what was best. Sometimes we don't agree with what is best for us, but we got to learn to get over that. It sometimes may take a long time to reconcile that whole notion, but it does happen eventually.
In the outcome, when someone else is looking out for your best interest, you win. I take this time to thank Mr. Manoloff because he has helped me to allow people in my life who know what is best for me. So even when I think that I know everything, there are people who do know better. He stopped me from becoming pompous and arrogant and more importantly just plain wrong. For that I will always be in debt to him.

Mama's Korner
This weekend my mama moved. We have lived in the dump that some people call a house for about 24 years now. It is the only place I have ever known as home. There are lots of memories there. At first I was devastated. But then I realized that all things work together for the good. My mama will be so much happier in a smaller place where she does not have to worry about shoveling the snow or mowing the grass. She has the porch she has always wanted. And she is living close to her man Mr. Tom. In the end, it will be a change. Sometimes change is for the best. So cheers to my mom and me helping her this weekend with the rest of the family move into a new home.
(Mr. Tom better not come over all the time...ugh!!!) top ten reasons to move ur mom from a 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom townhouse (glorified apartment, thanks nessa ):
10 u and ur brother can fight over the scores of high school science fair projects
9 u find pictures of urself doin stupid stuff
8 u realize the reason that u are a pack rat is cause ur mom held the whole world in her house
7 finding high school assignments that u did well in :-)
6 finding journals from when u were 7
5 getting into fight over donuts with siblings
4 realizing that penny hardaway was ur favorite NBA star (where is he now?)
3 having to throw away 20+ years of memories
2 Uncle Denny throwing an old dresser down the steps and putting a hole in the wall that i stick my fist in
1 finding out that my family "mistakenly" threw out my 13 cabbage patch kids that were my best friends growing up...they will pay :'(

Her Voice Speak
Hopefully a piece on chivalry by one of my favorite boys next time!!!

Shout Outs:
Irini for the NYC job offer!!!
Erin for the Marathon and going to California for all those interviews

Announcements
If you want to be featured in "her Voice Speak" please send to Cunningham.212@osu.edu
if you have gal pals that u think should get this...email me as wellThanks

Gal Pal Email 21st edition
Are you Single??
Contents:
Quips and Quotes
Ebonics Lesson
On the Flip Side
Mama's Korner
Her Voice Speak
Announcements

Quips and Quotes:"I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals." Nessa's friend James

Ebonics Lesson of the Week:
When talking about something sexual or relational in conversation and there is a level of discreetness to it, there is a word that is a catch all...pants. For example: She only wants me for my pants. He is only in it for the pants. Pants is all he/she thinks about. I thought that we were friends but then pants got involved. Etc.

On the Flip Side:For those of us who remember Forest Gump, it is the soundtrack that stays with us (okay and that whole thing with chocolate and shrimp). Thanks to Mike D who helped me find the lyrics/Ecclesiastes quote to do this particular piece. Anyway, Pete Seeger of the Byrds helped to make these words not only a worldwide hit, but to remind us to everything there is a season. This includes Singleness. Singleness is a season. Something that is important in life because it is only for a period of time. During this time it is when self-autonomy happens. Self-autonomy cannot occur living with your parents, and in the same vein, it can't be fully developed when one is constantly associating himself or herself as the partner of someone else (during these developmental years that are crucial). In identity development there are all these aspects of personal cultural identity that need addressed. If professionals (Arthur Chickering) have found that this is not usually until a person is older than 25 that they begin the process of self-autonomy, why not enjoy the time of singleness and allow things to progress when they are ready. There is no need to rush. In fact, in being single boys/men can learn to cook and clean. Girls/Women can get their oil changed and know how to fix the garbage disposal. There is nothing wrong with a division of labor in a household or couple, but it is good for people to learn how to do things for themselves so they are better equipped to serve their new family when it comes to be that time. Being single is not a curse, it is one of life's best gifts. And remember, it is just for a season.To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens:

A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluckup that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and atime to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time torefrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew
;a time to keep silence,and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace

Mama's Korner:
The knives
While I am at home, I have found that there are things that I like to write down so I have become the family scribe. As I was in the 'nati getting my turkey on, I was up late with my sisters when oldest sister, Kathryn the Nun related this story:

I used to go up to Detroit when I was little to stay with Aunt Mary (who would be 95 if alive today). Several summers our cousin Ruthie, who is older than me, would go too. Well, one summer Ruthie stopped going. Aunt Mary had rules. One of those rules were that we were not to eat at other people's houses. This was incase that they were not clean or some other crazy Aunt Mary reason. This one time a friend in the neighborhood who knew Mary was having hamburger and French fries. Kathryn and Ruthie felt that they would just eat there and not tell Aunt Mary. Of course somehow Mary found out. She took them to the back of the house, against the garage and proceeded to throw knives at them. Around their heads. Granted my sister was 5 or 6, but she remembers this vividly like it happened last week.
Kathryn then tells that she never told Mama Pat (my mama) or the other sister Mama Kate (my other aunt). So, later that thanksgiving weekend I asked Mama Kate about it. She said if she knew about it she would have kicked Aunt Mary's butt all over Detroit. But that was not the response I wanted. "Mama, how did she learn to throw the knives...?" Mama Kate responded, "I guess from the reservation, that damn Indian..." Note that I did not inherit this ability to throw knives, any one who will allow me to practice on them.

Her Voice Speak:
Choose a Life Mate, Don't Wait For a Soul Mate By Michelle L. Casto, M.Ed.

This article is adapted from the book Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships:
Your Personal Guide to Finding Right and Real Love Have you ever wondered why all the people who are seeking their soul mate end up disappointed and let down? I have found that it is possible that there is no such thing, at least in the way most people think about it. I have also found that if you want to find "heaven on earth" with a special someone, you have to adjust your expectations to a more realistic, humanistic level. With all of the talk about finding one's soul mate, you might wonder why a more appropriate term is "Life Mates." Because, in my belief, soul mates are all the people we come into contact with whom we have unresolved business. In truth, soul mates could be family, friends, or colleagues. They do not have to be your significant other. Thanks to the media and our human need for companionship, the soul mate myth has been romanticized to unrealistic proportions and continues to keep us longing for that one "perfect person," so much so that we are never satisfied with who we are with. Life Mates, on the other hand, appreciate and love each other on a more humanistic level. Life Mates recognize each other's spirits, but interact as human beings, realizing that while in human form, nothing or no one is perfect. They know that life on earth is about learning lessons. Life Mates learn, live, love, and evolve together, yet remain separate on their individual spiritual journey. Ultimately, finding your true Life Mate brings real love into your life, awakens your soul and makes it easier for you to learn the lessons you are meant to learn. Before I met my own Life Mate four years ago, I too believed that there was only one perfect person for me in this entire world. For many years, I searched high and low trying to find my other half only to end up feeling frustrated and lonelier than ever. And then.... I met Philip of course when I wasn't looking---and we began dating. I did not feel an instant connection with him, a bolt of lightening did not strike me, nor did any other "sign" appear before my eyes telling me that he was the one. Instead, we simply enjoyed each other's company and started spending more time getting to know one another. After about six months, we woke up to the realization that we wanted to be an exclusive couple. After a year and a half, we decided to move in together, next we bought a home, and finally adopted two wonderful dogs. My love life now is rich and wonderful, but it is because we chose each other and became committed to the development of a real relationship. Had I continued to search for a perfect person, I would probably still be alone! As it turns out, real love grows over time and involves a conscious choice. And here I was for years and years, believing that I would see my soul mate across a crowded room, fall immediately in love, and live happily ever after! Perhaps you can relate with my illusion? Upon my own inner reflection and by talking to others while I was writing Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships, I discovered that the "soul mate" myth has endured for so long because we want to believe there is someone perfect for us even though we ourselves have many warts and imperfections. We want to believe in unconditional love and acceptance. We also want to believe in "destiny." We want the hand of God to bring our "twin" to us. We want to feel overwhelmingly drawn to him or her like a moth to a flame. We want to feel instant recognition when we first lay eyes on that person. For many folks, it is much easier for them to believe that their life is pre-destined, and that if they only wait long enough, they will find that perfect person. Instead of choosing to use what God gave us the ability to love and the free will to choose--- we leave our romantic lives up to "fate." (Something we would never do with our career or other important life needs, by the way). And of course, we learn about love through the media, and are lead to believe that finding our soul mate is easy. It happens all the time in the movies, right? At a deeper level, perhaps we want to believe in soul mates because we unconsciously seek a re-connection to our own God or Goddess. Maybe we believe that through a union with another person, that in addition to experiencing physical ecstasy that we will also experience spiritual ecstasy? If you stop to think about how many times "heaven" is referenced in romantic love songsyou may begin to realize the unconscious connection we often make between romantic love and spirituality. With the soul mate theory to romantic love, you have no conscious choice but to be with that person. In the real world, the choice is yours. Be sure to make it on a conscious level. What I have learned while on my journey with my Life Mate is that we each have to develop a relationship with God in our own way and then work (it is a true labor of love) at our relationship on a daily basis. My romantic relationship is full of joy and love but also with pain and work. (That is human reality). I now know that human love takes conscious effort, time and thought. And that choosing a Life Mate over seeking a soul mate makes for a much more fulfilling and attainable real-love experience.

Announcements:Happy Birfdays to Adina (Rollins) Sterling and Diane Horvath-Cosper and Meghan Reidy To all those I forgotten here, you did not sign up for my birfday alarm:

Please click on the following link for me and enter your name and birthday, it only takes a few seconds: http://www.BirthdayAlarm.com/dob/7029561a5987117b318

Gal Pal Email 22nd edition

Gal Pal Email 22nd edition
Best Friends
Contents:
Quips and Quotes
Ebonics Lesson
On the Flip Side
Mama's Korner
Her Voice Speak
Announcements

Quips and Quotes:
I've dreamed of meeting her all my life...a bosom friend-an intimate friend, you know-a real kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul -Anne of Green Gables

Ebonics Lesson:"I lost my hand"You would use this statement when referring to a bad dish or you prepared a meal that did not come out right. Sort of like loosing your touch, but it is in regard to cooking.

On the Flip Side

I have a confession. At the risk of losing my Negro card, I love Anne of Green Gables. Thanks to Gal Pal Vanessa, I have seen these movies to many times. But I am also thankful for these great books and movies because they are that constant reminder to me that I have to strive to be a better gal pal. I think that there are some things that we could all learn and be refreshed time and time again. I find that during the holiday seasons there are lots of things to be thankful for, and one of those things is friendship. So here is the Diva Crash Course to up keeping friendship:
How to be a better gal pal

Dream dreams for your friend-sometimes she can't seem the back to the front and may get weighted down with the burdens that life has dished her. Remind her that its just a season (reference to gal pal 21st edition) and remind her of her vision. (Thank you Diane for always reminding me that I am a diva and a scholar.)

Listen-this is a practice that we forget. Sometimes we are so busy trying to solve someone's problems that it gets interpreted as not listening. Don't get some caught up in the hype that you are not tuning into your friends' struggles that show that you are listening. Then wait for them to solicit feedback. (Thank you Adina for always being a listener and waiting for me to solicit feedback.)

Admonish to stimulate growth-we are never to old for some of these parental skills. We often need to be admonished so we can realize that we are off the road that we need to be and need to stand corrected. And only a true friend can take you there and remind you with the sternness that you need that you need to come correct. (Thank you Rachel for making sure that I come correct.)

Hesed (Hebrew word for unfailing love)-sometimes you may just have this feeling that you need to call or send a card or email to one of your friends. There is just some way that you need to express your love to them. Operate that in the way that you know that your friend needs to feel it. (Thank you Traice for the ability you show that you care and I feel it even in the words of your emails. You are precious to me.)

Gratefulness- remember to over all be grateful and thankful for the friends that you have. I am thankful that you can have more than one kindred spirits. That you can develop a circle of female friends who admonish and teach you and vice versa. So as you think to be thankful for your biological family, remember in these times your urban family of sisters.

Mama's Korner

My Uncles Denny and Laeffy (Lafayette) both were in the Vietnam war. They were marines and were in the front lines. When they both finally came back, they were messed up and did not talk about it. Laeffy actually reenlisted to serve after he was done with his service. WHAT? When I found this out I was at arms. Then I did some investigating and found that poor Uncle Laeffy was 18 we he enlisted the first time, to follow his big brother who was there not by choice. He became a trained killing machine and was given the nickname monster. This was not just because he was a big man and a boxer, this was for how he killed people and the amount of people he killed. He seemed to do it just like a monster, with no feeling or remorse. Hand to hand combat this 18 year old boy/man would kill more people than most serial killer in American who get incarcerated. ( On one hand we train killers and the other hand we lock them up. I guess it depends on who they are killing.) The Monster was an asset to the marines but when it was time for him to come back and adjust, a child at 18 became a man at 25 who had to reenter society and he could not find peace. He had been living a life that seemed so right, because there were aspects of society (the military) that told him that this was the life he had to live. But there were two different stories here. When it was time for the Monster to be Lafayette Bronston, all he knew was the monster. Now sadly, Uncle Laeffy still has to deal with the monster. Quiet and to himself. He has slowly been able to talk about himself but he still is silent about the war and what it did to him. Many of us are glad that Saddam was caught and so am I. However I pray mercy for him because I have seen how war can scar and change a man. No one deserves to be called or live the life of a monster because that is what your country at one time expected for you to be, and when times have changed expect you to change over night. So now I pray for all the people in the military who were in combat and I pray that they find peace from their monsters.Her Voice SpeakCheck out this website to see how women all over the country are getting together to celebrate friendship and there own sisterhood.http://www.southernscribe.com/zine/film/ya-ya_sisterhood.htm

Announcements

Consider this read for friendships that last a lifetime, even when things are not perfect
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells
Thank you to everyone who loves me and my flaws. Learning to see not past them, but see them as part of me and that is okay. May everyone reading have a blessed and peaceful holiday season.

White Boy Email 36th Edition

White Boy Email 36th Edition
I. Quote of the Week
II. Ebonics Lesson of the Week
III. Catch 22
IV. Mama’s Korner (being taken over by maya angelou for a couple weeks due to vagina monologues)
V. You Speak
VI. Announcements



Quote of the Week:
“Maturity is the agreement for a person to take responsibility for the space that they occupy.” Maya Angelou

Ebonics Lesson for the Week:
Sic= if u are trying to explain how cool something is or trying to comment on something stylish
Salina, those pin stripe pants are sic, or Joe-Ferg that new cut by the Roots is sic.

Catch 22
Peacemaker
“Relationships are always worth restoring” Sometimes you need to put aside pride and wear humility. Humility is not thinking that you are less than the other person by any means. We must learn to be a peacemaker. To be a peacemaker takes courage. First off peace is not avoiding conflict. Running from a problem and pretending that it does not exist, or being afraid to talk about it is cowardice. However sometimes we do need to avoid conflict, sometimes we need to create it, and some times we need to resolve it. Avoiding conflict may mean forgiving someone(s) and letting the conflict go. Creating conflict may mean rocking the boat a little so that people are met where they are and there is no progress without some struggle. Resolving it may mean that even though you may not have started it, owning up to your part in it is just as important. You may need to take the initiative, if you take your time to navigate the issues that delay could deepen the resentment and cause hurt to fester. Sympathize with the other person’s feelings. Learning to listen is one of the biggest steps to knowing how to resolve a dispute. Take ownership of what you were responsible for. Discuss the problem and not the person. Cooperate and remember why you had a relationship with that person in the first place. IF you go into a conflict without the focus on you, then you can come to a place of peace. Remember that being a peacemaker is a person who is courageous, not someone who just waits for things to happen. Sometimes being a peacemaker takes the initiative to realize that it is not about you all the time.


Maya’s Korner

The first woman said One thing about me, I'm little and low, I find me a man wherever I go.
The second woman said They call me string bean 'cause I'm so tall, men see me, they ready to fall.
The third woman said I'm fat as butter and sweet as cake, men start to tremble every time I shake.
The fourth woman said I'm young as morning and fresh as dew, everybody loves me, and so do you.
The fifth woman said I'm little and lean, sweet to the bone, they like to pick me up and carry me home.
The sixth woman said When I passed forty, I dropped pretense 'cause men like women who got some sense.
But the seventh woman is my favorite, for obvious reasons. The seventh woman said fifty-five is perfect, so is fifty-nine, 'cause every man needs to rest sometime.


You Speak
Laughter Is Really Good Medicine
Laughter and humor are two powerful tools, helping people cope and get through threatening situations. Looking at life's situations with a sense of humor and laughter provides perspective and helps keep things in balance when life seems unfair. Humor and laughter are a source of power, healing, and survival. We often forget this when caught up in the troubles and trauma of life. Bill Cosby says, "If you can find humor in anything, you can survive it."
What You Get When You Laugh
While we are working at surviving, laughter can help us to maintain our perspective. The next time you feel like you're losing control, allow yourself a little "humor time." If you can find what's funny in a situation, your upsets might not seem as important as they once did.
Humor gives a sense of power.
There are many things in life that we have no control over and can't change. As long as we have a sense of humor, however, we can do something -- such as minimize the hold that upsets have over us. Humor has the power to turn any situation around.
Humor helps us cope.
A lot of the suffering and troubles we experience are not a result of our difficulties, but how we view them. Gail Sheehy notes in her best seller, Pathfinders, that the ability to see humor in a situation was one of the four coping devices that "pathfinders," people who overcome life's crises, used as a protection against change and uncertainty. Using humor in difficult times can be one of the smartest ways of coping with them, easing our worries, and getting on with life.
Humor helps establish communication and rapport.
Laughter knows no cultural boundaries. You don't have to speak the same language to laugh together. Laughter also helps break the ice when you're in a group. It is the one form of communication to which everyone can relate.
Humor relieves tension.
We all know the relief we feel when someone in a group makes a funny comment during a tense situation.
Humor dispels anger and aggression in ourselves and others.
It helps to use humor when dealing with an angry child. A study of humor in the classroom showed lower scores on aggression for students viewing a humorous videotape.
Humor increases learning and retention.
Laughing stimulates both sides of the brain. People get the message quicker and remember it longer.
Humor can be used as "diagnostic tool."
If we listen carefully to a person's humor, it can help us realize his or her fears and worries. When a person jokes around, he or she may be indirectly telling us about the things that are bothering him or her.
Humor is an important, often overlooked tool. The better adjusted you are and the more satisfying your lifestyle, the more readily you will respond to the humor in jokes, cartoons, and everyday situations. Be aware of taking yourself too seriously. It is important to learn to laugh at yourself.
You can learn to share your laughter and help make others laugh. This doesn't mean telling jokes unless that is one of your talents. It means beginning to share your humorous perspective and giving others permission to do the same. A good sense of humor is something everyone can work on. It doesn't just happen. Here are some suggestions to help add more laughter to your life:
· Recognize the value of humor.
· Don't worry or analyze why people laugh -- just participate.
· Think funny -- look for the humor in every situation. Learn to laugh at the incongruities in life.
· Keep a notebook of funny things and write in it daily.
· Adapt material. Use humor from any source. Personalize it and change it to suit your situation or the problem at hand.
Remember that laughter not only makes you feel better, but the use of humor can be a major tool for insight. George Burns says it best: "You can't help getting older, but you can help getting old. Chronologically, the clock is going to keep on ticking for all of us,
but if we take a lick of humor, we can prevent a hardening of the attitudes. If we savor humor, humor can be a lifesaver.


Announcements:

Want to really show some love on Valentine’s Day, give your time by taking some time to help someone else:
The Council of Graduate Students
Outreach & Engagement Committee
presents
Share the Love
Habitat for Humanity Moving Day
Be in front of the Ohio union at 8am, February 14th, 2004 (hoping you stay with us until the job is done or at least 1pm)
To RSVP please email me or Chad Combs at combs.76@osu.edu

White Boy Email 37th Edition

White Boy Email 37th Edition
Benchmarks of Manhood 1 of 7

I. Quote of the Week
II. Ebonics Lesson of the Week
III. Catch 22
IV. Mama’s Korner (being taken over by maya angelou for a couple weeks)
V. You Speak
VI. Announcements

Quote of the Week:
“Be careful when a naked man offers you a shirt”
-African Proverb (really think about this)

Ebonics lesson of the week:
“Snaps”:
Something that you can say when someone does something good or well
“No Snaps”:
When someone does something wrong or is messed up, you give them no snaps

Catch 22
A man is known for the company he keeps
I love the Lord of the Rings. If you were to look at Frodo’s inner circle of friends, you would find that Merry, Pippin and Sam are Frodo’s closest comrades. They are nosey, but it is because of their love. They make a lot of mistakes, but this is because they are hobbits (human). Frodo is not cognizant of his own shortcomings. He has a hard time accepting friends devotions when the burden of the Ring was given to him. (loyalty is a mark of true friendship.) This is because Frodo is an orphan and deals with feelings of being abandoned. After 12 years of carrying the ring and the constant temptation of evil it attracts; he doesn’t consider himself worthy of such friends as would die for him. “when friendship gets in the way of our own aspirations, it is easy to find reasons for stopping short of a full commitment. It requires a servant’s heart like Sam’s, to lay aside our own plans, simple as they may be, and follow a friend into danger and exile, but that is precisely what true friends do” (Tolkens Ordinary Virtues 27). So true friendship is about sacrifice and being a servant. It is not about what you get, it is about what you give!!!

Maya’s Korner:
"The Lesson"
by Maya Angelou
I keep on dying again.
Veins collapse, opening like the
Small fists of sleeping
Children.
Memory of old tombs,
Rotting flesh and worms do
Not convince me against
The challenge. The years
And cold defeat live deep in
Lines along my face.
They dull my eyes, yet
I keep on dying,
Because I love to live.


You Speak:

All I ever needed to know, I learned in Kindergarten
Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand box at nursery school.

These are the things I learned. Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday.

Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. We are like that.

And then remember that book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK! Everything you need to know is there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology, and politics and the sane living.

Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.
--- Robert Fulghum