The Porcelain Bowl Volume 5 Issue 6

The Porcelain Bowl
Volume 5 Issue 6
What have you done today to feel proud series
Quips and Quotes
Catch 22- The Adonis Complex
Ebonics Lesson
Last Word-gender language


Quips and Quotes:
“If I accept you as you are, I will make you worse; however if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that” -GoetheCatch 22-The Adonis ComplexSo, what is muscle dysmorphia, bigorexia nervosa or reverse anorexia, megorexia nervosa, machismo nervosa, or the Adonis complex? Simply the fact that human beings are always perceiving themselves, but their evaluations are not always reliable. For instance, has someone at work, a club, or the gym ever commented on how big, cut or both you look? Maybe someone noted in casual conversation that you were the biggest person in the room. Did you smile and sincerely mumble something like "Don’t I wish" or "It must be this light?" Maybe, if the person was not into lifting, bodybuilding, or whatever you call what you do in the gym you attributed their observation to their ignorance. However, if we accept that the average weight trainer is probably stronger and/or bigger than the average or above average non-lifter then proponents would suggest that such responses might be an early sign of the Adonis complex.Pope frames male body image issues tightly on an ABC special. "Let me define the Adonis Complex in more detail. It refers to all types of body image preoccupations in boys and men. Some boys and men worry that they aren’t muscular enough; others worry that they aren’t lean enough and still others worry that they have some unattractive feature, such as hair, facial features, etc. All of these worries represent different forms of the Adonis Complex" ( http://204.202.137.117/onair/DailyNews/chat_pope991115.html). So, if you are male and worry that you are too small, too fat, or unattractive, in almost any way, then you might have the Adonis complex. But there is hope for you. Once you know that you are struggling with body issues, there is something that you can do about it. if you are not that healthy you can augment a life a change. Never look for a quick fix because you may be damaging your body rather than reshaping it. I spoke to a friend of mine who is a personal trainer and is earning his masters in nursing) and in that conversation immerged several tips he considers men should adhere to incorporate life change and not quick changes. (And really good tips for anyone.)
1. Eat four to six meals a day. Smaller meals a day aid in digestion and keep you from being hungry and habitually overeating.
2. Eat Breakfast. Even if it’s a fruit or cereal, make it happen. It kick starts your metabolism and helps your brain to function for the day.
3. Any activity is good activity. About twenty minutes a day can help your cardiovascular system and promote all around better health.
4. There needs to be six weeks of routine activity to see physiological changes. 5. Remember there are no quick fixes. Taking hunger suppressants or diet pills will not last long. And may even hurt your body. To prevent damage control, incorporate changes that will last a lifetime and not for a drive thru diet pick up!
6. There are no weight loss secrets, no machines with super powers, and no magical pills, products or supplements. Ebonics Lesson:Hot contrary mess- this is the highest of “messes” a mess could be physical (like your room or somebody’s outfit), mental (like going people wanting to have babies cause everyone in Hollywood is procreating), or situational (driving off the highway cause some turd ran you off the road or you forgot your mom’s birfday). This is the mess that is past “hot mess.”
Last Word Part 1 (part 2 in July)Take it from me, we just don’t understand…each other. Dr. Tannen is the leading person in gender based communication style. She notes that men and women do communicate with a gender bend to language but each are valuable and valid styles. Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting need for intimacy (a key in the world of connection where individuals negotiate complex networks of friendship, minimize differences, try to reach consensus, and avoid the appearance of superiority which would highlight differences) and independence (a primary means of establishing status to tell others what to do, and taking orders is a marker of low status). Although both men and women need both, women tend to focus on intimacy and men tend to focus on independence. The crux of her argument is that male-female conversation is cross cultural communication. For the most part, women establish rapport talk and desire to have confirmation of their feelings. Men establish report talk and exchange information as a means to problem solve. Tannen observes that when men report to one another on issues of trouble, they tend to not to try to establish a connection based on those emotions but relay another independent experience that parallels. A women would tend to want to relate an experience that is based on empathizing and will offer an experience that connects herself to that person. Understanding that most of communication styles are learned, this linguistical style of gender performance uses a chasm between men and women. As men get older they do want to be more connected but do not have the practice. Ironically, when women get older they want to have their issues solved but are not equipped to do so. Yet, at the same time each sex is comfortable in communicating in the style that they have learned. Now that you all have this knowledge, cultural or gender understanding must be married with practice. Next time we will discuss body language and how to put knowledge into practice.