The Porcelain Bowl vol 3 edition 1

The Porcelain Bowl
(It all goes down the drain eventually, anyway)
Contents
I. Quote of the Week
II. Catch 22
III. You Speak

Note from the Editor:
Maybe some of you have wondered why in the last 3 months there has been no white boy email. Well it is not because I have not had a lot to say, but I have given much thought to the direction and format. The third volume of the WB has a new name, a new vibe, a new direction and comes from a place of introspection. All of you are older and deserve to have something for the mature audience. It is not to say that this new form will be all serious, though sometimes I may go that way…but it is to say that for the next couple issues of I have given much thought. The new format is shorter, definitely more bathroom reader friendly, hence the new name. Some of the old stuff will come back, like Jive Talk, but I want to keep it short, concise and interesting. I hope that you enjoy the metamorphosis of the WB. I would enjoy any feedback or suggestions as well.

Quote of the Week
"No one ever choked to death swallowing his pride"- anonymous

Catch 22
Pride Before Fall
Lately I have been on this tip with songs. Songs taking on a whole new meaning or speaking to a situation in my life. I am not the biggest rap fan, I know it’s a shock. But I really feel some hip hop artists such as Kanye West. The song “all falls down” has been one of those songs that has me thinking about some things differently. Below are a cut of the lyrics so you all can feel me:
It seems we living the American dream
But the people highest up got the lowest self esteem
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
For the road to riches and diamond rings
We shine because they hate us, floss cause they degrade us
We trying to buy back our 40 acres
And for that paper, look how low we a'stoop
Even if you in a Benz, you still a nig*a in a coop/coupe

…I wanna act ballerific like it's all terrific
I got a couple past due bills, I won't get specific
I got a problem with spending before I get it
We all self conscious I'm just the first to admit it

When it “all falls down”, what gets us there, and what is it that picks us back up? I believe it is an issue of Pride. There are basically two kinds of pride. There is the healthy pride such as the pride you have in one’s work, family, and self-confidence. But just like we all probably know, things can swing out of balance. The other end of the spectrum is the reality of the unhealthy pride. The word for this is Hubris.
Hubris
Noun: Overbearing pride or presumption; arrogance
Etymology: Greek translation; excessive pride, wanton violence.
Some of you know I gotta sort of love for linguistics and understanding Greek and Hebrew. This is why I wanted to do a little research and break it down like this. It puts a little weight on what I am trying to get across. (Sometimes the English translated falls short of conveying the meaning that is necessary.)
I am not sure if this is what Kanye wanted his patrons to hear from him. But after the 100th time I heard that song, this is what I began to hear on repeat. Cause when it all falls down, when I fall down, there is more to just dusting your shoulders off, there is the fact that there is something that I did or did not do that may have gotten me there. So the next time you take a “fall” no matter how little or big that trip is, while you are picking yourself back up or asking or receiving help, make sure you take that time to reflect and realize what got you there in the first place.
I mean, would who doesn’t reset the odometer from time to time to realize how efficiently their car is using fuel. If you do those little things for a vehicle, that minor assessment, isn’t your sense of self that much more important? I am not afraid to admit it, Pride has gotten the best of me a time or two (okay a lot more than that). I hope that I am better prepared to not fall for the same selfishness twice, the next time around, when it may all fall down.

You Speak
I love Stevie Wonder, it is not a lie. His songs have helped me win many of karaoke contests. But jokes aside, since I am on this song tip to look at things different, Stevie has this great song that he performed with Bob Dylan in 1975 (no I was not alive). It is called Saturn. It is not about an altered state due to some hallucinogen, remember the man is blind and so he is always in a place that few of us will ever experience. This song was written in the dwindling era of the Vietnam War. He is not talking about Nirvana, but he is speaking to a fantasy because reality is just so wrong at this point in history. I guess what I am asking is for you all to read this and think beyond what you know as reality, and think about what you could do to help shape reality around you. You all are social actors in this place, planet earth. Design your our destiny!
SATURN
Packing my bags-going away
To a place where the air is clean
On Saturn
There's no sense to sit and watch the people die
We don't fight our wars the way you do
We put back all the things we use
On Saturn
There's no sense to keep on doing such crimes

There's no principles in what you say
No direction in the things you do
For your world is soon to come to a close
Through the ages all great men have taught
Truth and happiness just can't be bought-or sold
Tell me why are you people so cold

I'm......
Going back to Saturn where the rings all glow
Rainbow, moonbeams and orange snow
On Saturn
People live to be two hundred and five
Going back to Saturn where the people smile
Don't need cars cause we've learn to fly
On Saturn
Just to live to us is our natural high

We have come here many times before
To find your strategy to peace is war
Killing helpless men, women and children
That don't even know what they are dying for
We can't trust you when you take a stand
With a cold expression on your face
Saying give us what we want or we'll destroy

I'm......
Going back to Saturn where the rings all glow
Rainbow, moonbeams and orange snow…

Happy Holidays and have a Blessed New Year!!!

Volume 3 Issue 3

The Porcelain Bowl
“Everything goes down the drain”
Volume 3 Issue 3

Quote of the Week:
“Man strives for glory and honor, fame… that
all the world may know his name. he amasses wealth by brain
and hand…becomes a power in the land. But when he
nears the end of his life…and looks back over
the years of strife…he finds that happiness
depends on none of these…but love of friends”
-unknown author

Catch 22
Finishing up this two part series has been challenging. I did not know how to open this up to all of you to get the perspective I am trying to convey. Summing up a 300 page book to be concise and compelling is no minor task. The last two pillars of a man’s heart that I am sharing with you are mentor and friend. This last two sections that should bring into balance how you may conceptualize manhood are very important. One of my favorite books by Marian Wright Edelman is called Lanterns. It is a tribute to all the “heroes” who contributed to the civil rights movement. Most of them Dr. Edelman attributes to being her Mentors even if it is in Spirit.
A mentor can be defined as being a life coach. We all need life coaches and at the same time need to be a coach to someone(s) else. Somewhere deep in the core of your being, there are pearls of wisdom waiting to be dug up and passed on to someone else. From your mind to the heart of another man (or woman). The mentor within the man teaches life. Sometimes the mentoring is spiritual, sometimes its mechanical. Sometimes it is even technical, intellectual, and/or recreational. So there are several key components about mentoring.
Mentoring builds men who understand life and pass it on. The greatest of all men point to a mentor. Show me a great man, and I can dig up someone who he points to as his personal mentor. Sometimes mentoring is modeling over a lifetime. Labels fall short of qualifying relationships or the words you may share with another person. The way that you live your life many times serves as the example or help needed to another person. I will always cherish my time with Vice President of Student Affairs Bill Hall because he never talks about how he leads, he just does it. He leads by example. And that is a component that I incorporate into how I lead.
Sometimes mentoring is instinctive coaching. Sometimes mentoring is spontaneous and on the spot. Sometimes you don’t ask for these appointments in life, but never let that stop you from being part of a teachable moment. In a moment you can impact someone’s life forever. My mama has two sayings. Yes, in her years of experience she has two pearls that she keeps on repeat just for me. “Kick Butt” and “Give ‘em Hell.” These two gems have gotten me through some tough times. My mama may not always know that she is supporting me, but I have reminded her, especially of late, that her hard knock takes on life has helped me pick myself up over and over again. I get pneumonia again, all well, I gotta kick its butt before it tries to get mine J.
Sometimes mentoring is systematic teaching. Things that have been handed down to you. The moral fiber that rests in your grandmothers eyes when she looks at you acting up as a child. The scolding you got from your mom for stealing candy when you were three and she made you take it back and apologize. The multiple punishments and teachings that come to you in different forms of discipline so that when you get to college you don’t go that far off. And if you do, somehow there is one person who makes that difference in you. Someone who believes enough for the both of you. Or you believe enough for someone in your life. Sometimes you may not see the fruit of your labor. Maybe just like Mr. Tabern may never know that my correct usage of the 8th part of speech came from his careful correction in the seventh grade. Life is bigger than you, and just your mere existence makes you metaphysically linked to every other human being. I am saying that because you live, you need to give. Give of your times, talents and skills. Give because somewhere along the way, someone gave to you, even if you can’t put your finger on it. A mentor is student of ancient wisdom, of the people, and of failure.
I heard once that there is no greater love for a friend than a person willing to die for him. I agree. Dr. Martin L. King Jr. said that a man who stands for nothing falls for anything. Choose carefully what you are willing to die for, but if you are willing to put your life on the line, do it for something of great measure, for another human life. There is a proverb that says some friends stick closer than a brother. Having close friends in front of whom you can think aloud and be yourself is really important. I have done many of emails about friendship and at the end of this you can go to a website that I have created that houses all the back issues of the former white boy emails.
Now to get back to the pillars. If the mentor falters to either side of the balanced man, he may thought of as a dunce or a know it all. It is best to keep balance. If a friend falters to either side of the balanced man he may be perceived as a loner or a smotherer. But a mentor is to teach and a friend is to connect. A mentor walks in wisdom and a friend walks in love.

Thanks for reading this edition, next issue is all about the laughs and look for new Ebonics lessons J

http://galpalandthebowl.blogspot.com/

Gal Pal Post Volume 3 Edition 2

Gal Pal Post Volume 3 Edition 2
”Service is our Rent for Living”
Contents:
I. Quote of the Week
II. The Inner Diva-word factory
III. She Speaks

Quote of the week:
"Game over. I had to accept the fact that in life some women are simply better, and no amount of shoes or lack of pastry or making of pies will change that. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair who can wear white and not spill on it, and chair committees and write thank you notes, and I can't feel bad about that." Carrie (Sex and the City)


The INNER DIVA-word Factory

Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues has gone in a new direction, but it is not that far from the tree. In her current work she is talking about body image. It is interesting that I found out about this in an article in the BACK of a Glamour magazine. This article was of course right behind articles like “rid your rump” etc. (Please laugh here.) Body Image continues to be a struggle for all women.
According to this timeline provided by thesite.org, mainstream media is off the hook:
1900’s-1950’s
At the start of the 1900s, slenderness became more fashionable. There was an increasing interest of women in athletics and physicians began to see body weight as a 'science' of calorie counting, 'ideal weights', and weigh-ins. At this time the physically perfect woman was 5'4" tall and weighed 10 stone.
By the 1920s, the Victorian hourglass gave way to the thin flapper who bound her breasts to achieve a washboard profile. After World War I, active lifestyles added another dimension. Energy and vitality became central and body fat was perceived to contribute to inefficiency and was seen as a sign of self-indulgence. By the 1950s, a thin woman with a large bust line was considered most attractive. The voluptuous (size 16) Marilyn Monroe set a new standard for women who now needed to rebuild the curves they had previously tried to bind and restrain.
1960’s-1990’s
By the 1960s, slenderness became the most important indicator of physical attractiveness following the arrival of model Twiggy. She weighed in at a shapeless six and a half stones, and had the figure of a prepubescent boy.
Despite an American public with increasing body weights, Playboy magazine increased the promotion of slimness between 1959 and 1978. 'Miss America' contestants were also found to be thinner over time, and winners of the pageant after 1970 consistently weighed less than the other contestants. In 1975 top models and beauty queens weighed only 8% less than the average women. Today they weigh 23% less, a size achievable by less than 5% of today's female population. Between 1970 and 1990, there was an overall increased emphasis on weight loss and body shape in the content of a popular women's magazine, as well as a shift to using thinner less curvaceous models in their photo shoots. The 1980s beauty ideal remained slim but required a more toned and fit look. Women could no longer just 'diet' into the correct size; there was a new pressure to add exercise to achieve the toned look. The 1990s body ideal was very slim and large breasted, think Pamela 'Baywatch' Anderson, an almost impossible combination for most western women.

I place all this here to demonstrate the way history, media, and our ownselves play a part in this unattainable beauty myth. And sure there are some cultural differentiations that play a role in this for women of color, but the measuring device is still tied to the american idealogy of the white female. 5% of women can attain the “ideal” body. Out of approximately 3.5 billion women, that is about 2 million women. How can we break that down practically? Well, I enlisted some help



SHE SPEAKS
Marian Wright Edelman is probably one of the most influential women in my life that I have not met. Below are the 25 lessons that she has about life that is mentioned in her short book called the Measure of Our Success. I think that everyone should read the book, but due to time, here is the excerpt from the book and I hope that it touches your heart like it always does mine:
There is no free lunch. Don't feel entitled to anything you don't sweat and struggle for.
Set goals and work quietly and systematically toward them.
Assign yourself.
Never work for just money or for power. They won't save your soul or build a decent family or help you sleep at night.
Don't be afraid of taking risks or of being criticized.
Take parenting and family life seriously and insist that those you work for and who represent you do.
Remember that your wife/husband is not your mother/father or servant, but your partner and friend.
Forming families is serious business.
Be honest.
Remember and help America remember that the fellowship of human beings is more important that the fellowship of race and class and gender in a democratic society.
Sell the shadow for the substance.
Never give up!
Be confident that you can make a difference.
Don't ever stop learning and improving your mind.
Don't be afraid of hard work or teaching your childen to work.
"Slow down and live."
Choose your friends carefully.
Be a can-do, will-try person.
Try to live in the present.
Use your political and economic power for the community.
Listen for "the sound of the genuine" within yourself and others.
You are in charge of your own attitude.
Remember your roots, your history, and the forebears' shoulder on which you stand.
Be reliable. Be faithful. Finish what you start.
Always remember that you are never alone.

Announcements:
I am in the fabulous vagina monologues again, and if you want to come and support me and some fabulous young women please go to the Drake Union at OSU ticketmaster and tickets are 5 dollars for students, 7 for non students. All the proceeds go to charity.
Email or call me with questions.

gal pal post vol 3 edition 1

Gal Pal Post
Volume 3 Edition 1
Emerging from the Ashes
Contents:
I. Quote of the Week
II. The Inner Diva-word factory
III. She Speaks

*Note from the Editor
Welcome to the Third Volume of the Gal Pal Post (email)
It has been under revision for 3 months and now you all can read again and enjoy. This year is all about keeping it simple. The Newsletter will have brevity to it and sometimes there will be some parts, resembling the past (like the jive talk) other times it will have this format.
As I grow and learn, my hopes are that you all do too, and need something at the next level. So without further hesitation, the gal pal email returns.

Quote of the Week:
“If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, some one will say it’s women’s work.”
-Anon.

The Inner Diva- Word Factory
‘tis the season to be jolly…As I think on this ChristmasHanukkahKwanzaa Season, I contemplate the essence of Charity and what it means to GIVE. Most women I believe are givers. I think that it is in our nature. (Hello Care-givers) And whether it is socialized to be there or not, it somehow finds itself at the core of our womanhood and our humanity. And there is nothing wrong with that. I have reconciled that part of my identity a long time ago. I open my home to people. I make dinners and serve them because I care. That gift is hospitality. I know many of you who read this do very similar things or come from homes that reflect this very notion.
I can think of every time that Mrs. Brown (Ali Brown’s mama) had opened her house to an onslaught of college kids and let us parade around her house and trample on her yards. She and her husband would grill food for us and made all of us, Jew or Gentile, a Brown, brown or white persons feel like we belonged there, that is a gift of hospitality. I can think of the times that I never got a package at school, and how that made me sad, but then Adina (Rollins) Sterling’s mama has sent me two packages since I have been in school and would send me treats in things she would send to Adina. That is too a gift of hospitality.
I now know these women to open their homes to any one. Ali lives in NYC and many of folk can testify to have taken in the comfort of the Brown love. Adina hosts many events at her place and even a bible study there from time to time that many women attend and feel loved there. My mama is one of the greatest cooks ever, and there is nothing like food that can bring people together. I say this to you all. There is nothing wrong with showing love through acts of service. It is the little things that make people feel loved and cared about. I could go on and on about the women I know who merit such notice, but I just wanted to demonstrate that we all have the capacity to care. Whether innate or learned, show the love. You never know when something good is gonna come back to you!!

She Speaks
In ringing in the new year, I pray nothing but blessings and goodness for 2005!!
The next gal pal will be in the New Year, but I want you all to dust your shoulders off and get rid of the baggage from this year.
So I give this space to Erykah Badu, from the album Mama’s Gun, Bag Lady
Bag lady you gone hurt your back
Dragging all them bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold on to
Is you, is you, is you
One day all them bags gone get in your way
One day all them bags gone get in your way
I said one day all them bags gone get in your way
One Day all them bags gone get in your way
So pack lightPack lightPack light
Ooh ooh Bag lady you gone miss your bus
You can't hurry up
Cause you got too much stuff
When they see you comin
Niggas take off runnin
From you it's true oh yes they do
One day he gone say you crowdin my space
One day he gone say you crowdin my space
I said one day he gone say you crowdin my space
One day he gone say you crowdin my space
So pack light
Pack light
Pack light
Ooh ooh Girl
I know sometimes it's hard
And we can't let go
Oh when someone hurts you oh so bad inside
You can't deny it you can't stop crying
So oh, oh, ohIf you start breathin
Then you won't believe it
You'll feel so much better(So much better baby)
Bag lady
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go
Ooh, oohGirl you don't need it
I betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
(Need someone to love you right)
Betcha love can make it better
(I betcha love, betcha love)
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
(I betcha love, betcha love)
Betcha love can make it better
(I betcha love, I betcha love, oh)
Betcha love can make it better
Betcha love can make it better
(Oh...)
Betcha love can make it better... Bag lady, hmm
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go
Girl you don't need that, hmm

I hope that you can interpret this the way you need to, to let go of things from the past and press on to what is coming for you at the horizon!!!